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Family
Mar 11, 2009 18:26:40 GMT 1
Post by queen8 on Mar 11, 2009 18:26:40 GMT 1
I suddenly got an impression of how I felt around the time my sight started deteriorating: I was mad at my grandparents (on my mother's side) for creating such a terrible situation for me, and to be sure to not be identified with them, I did everything I could to assemble my father's family. And in my father's family, everyone wore glasses... They are all nearsighted. From my knowledge now, I know that this also has to do with how you cope with the world. But I don't quite "get" this. Could I have used this want to be like someone, to "help" me becoming nearsighted? For my healing now, I wonder if this means that I first have to be reconciled with my mother's side of the family, accept them as part of my heritage, to see clearly. And I hate them for leaving me alone in an awful situation and for forbidding me to talk with others about it.
In a way I'm content now: I acknowledge that I hate them. That's a step forward... away from pretending to be a good girl. But I know that, for my own living now, I need to let go of that hatred. But not yet...
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Family
Mar 12, 2009 7:37:25 GMT 1
Post by Martin Brofman on Mar 12, 2009 7:37:25 GMT 1
Whenever you are ready.
Anyway, I would look at the "terrible situation" they "left you in" as a big clue to being nearsighted at that time.
Forbidding you to talk about it meant you had to hide it inside and not let others know about it - that fits the profile of nearsightedness.
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Family
Mar 14, 2009 16:24:11 GMT 1
Post by Angeleyes on Mar 14, 2009 16:24:11 GMT 1
Martin and Queen, I hope I am not offending you Queen when I ask this question of Martin.... Is it that she hates them or hates what they did? I ask this because in the past I have hated people for a time and then would get an awareness that I hated them because of what they had done? Then I got to the stage where I hated what they had done and had little or no feeling about them as people. Yet when I was consumed by the hate I had for them I know now that was affecting me in my body. Whereas hating what they did seemed to change something for me in that I wasn't consumed by this raging anger. I'm not saying this is what anyone should do. Queen's post just triggered the question in my head. Thank you for your post, Queen.
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Family
Mar 15, 2009 7:48:17 GMT 1
Post by Martin Brofman on Mar 15, 2009 7:48:17 GMT 1
It's about the perception of not being loved. Feeling that if they loved her, they would not have done that.
It's not about hate.
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Family
Mar 17, 2009 17:03:02 GMT 1
Post by spiritgirl on Mar 17, 2009 17:03:02 GMT 1
HI Martin
You said " Forbidding you to talk about it meant you had to hide it inside and not let others know about it - that fits the profile of nearsightedness."
This is my story as well. I was always told don't tell anyone about what was going on in the family. To keep to myself and not to interact with people. My question is this : What do I (We) do now to reverse this effect in our consciousness? In other words, if we have hidden something inside do we have to show it or reveal it by telling other people aboout it? OR as you stated in the other thread on confusion : consider just letting yourself be visible and release the tension that was in your consciousness about that. Releasing the tension would be to let go of the shame, guilt, blame, sense of isolation, right?
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Family
Mar 17, 2009 19:44:41 GMT 1
Post by Martin Brofman on Mar 17, 2009 19:44:41 GMT 1
Hiding inside became a habit - you just have to let go of the habit / belief of having to keep things secret.
>> consider just letting yourself be visible and release the tension that was in your consciousness about that. Releasing the tension would be to let go of the shame, guilt, blame, sense of isolation, right?
Right.
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