Eyesight Issue- Trust

[Angeleyes]

I thought that I had healed my issue from when my eyesight started to deteriorate, from the Vision Course with Annick. Yet it has come up again.
During the class, we were asked to go back to the time in our lives when our vision had deteriorated and see what was happening at that time in our lives.
My vision had been deteriorating for some time before it was diagnosed. I kept thinking there was something wrong with the school blackboard as I couldn't see it. My vision was discovered to have deteriorated during a routine school medical examination.
In the class we learned that the situation that was going on when our eyesight deteriorated was no longer going on now.
I had great difficulty with this one as for me what I didn't want to see I still saw. And I could see that a lot of my life had been unhappy and I put it down to those events. After the course I wrestled with the issue that the situation in my life now was different, even though I have moved on with life now with a family of my own. I see that alot of my and my familys lives were shaped by our inability to deal with our grief and of not knowing where to turn to for help. I can see that I know more about getting myself support if that were to happen me today.
I understand that my life situation is now different from back then and I feel I have changed so much in my outlook in life.
I think I have changed a lot from that little girl back then and get frustrated at times that I havn't healed my eyesight.

Typing this has brought up a lot of emotion, and an understanding that I still don't trust, trust that everything will work out, trust that its a wonderful loving and supportive world and not the scary one I felt I was in as a child.
So I guess my next step is to trust. I had come on here to post looking for help resolving this and I see I am being shown how to resolve it.
If there is anything else you think I would benefit from doing Martin, I welcome your guidance.
Thank you.

I would also like to thank your beautiful wife Annick for her gentle and wonderful teaching.
xx

[Martin Brofman]

>>In that year as my eyes had been getting worse my mum had been diagnosed with cancer and I thought this was what I didn't want to see.

If you were nearsighted, it's more about the filter of fear through which you had been seeing the world at that time. Possibly also not feeling you could tell others about it. Hiding something inside.

Sounds like you had not yet released the filter of fear, and the beliefs you created based on the decisions you had made at that time.

Yes - decide to replace trust with confidence, and during your daily life, trust your truth.

[Angeleyes]

<If you were nearsighted, it's more about the filter of fear through which you had been seeing the world at that time. Possibly also not feeling you could tell others about it. Hiding something inside. >
That makes sense, thank you Martin. I felt my world was not safe although I didn't know why and I didn't feel able to relate to anyone, as if no one would understand.
I know that once I did voice my fears to my mum about being left with my older sister babysitting me and my mum listened to me and said it was ok. I thought she understood. The next morning my older sister who I was afraid of told me that my mum had gone out anyway. And I still got my sisters wrath for having dared told my mum that I was scared of her. So I adopted the belief that expressing myself didn't work and only caused me more problems. Looking back now I'm amazed that I let that experience on top of my fear of my sister influence my choices in life. I never asked my mum if it was true that she had gone out and I never confided in her again.
It took a lot of courage for me to tell my mum that I was afraid of my sister, because I#d felt I would be dismissed for being silly. And on that occasion my fear of not speaking up was greater than my fear of staying quiet. And it only caused a bigger hurt.
Looking back now I understand why I made the choice to stay quiet and I know I was already doing this before this incident.

I also accept that this was how I viewed the world through a filter of fear. Not just at home.
Thank you Martin. Confidence .. it feels like a plant that I've to grow and nurture inside me.
And trusting my truth, I do at times, yet realise I stop when things get uncomfortable. So its feeling confident enough to trust my truth at all times, and confident enough to stick to it instead of backing away.
Thank you.
Your guidance is always so spot on!!

[spiritgirl]

Hi Angeleyes

I was wondering why were you afraid of your older sister? This could be a big part of the fear as well.




SG

[Martin Brofman]

Well, anyway, fear is fear, and it is possible to let it release as a general process, rather than deal with individual fear of this, fear of that, etc.

We can just say that it was a fearful time, and that virtually everything at that time was seen through a filter of fear that can now be released.

[Angeleyes]

Thank you Martin, your words resonate with me.

[spiritgirl]

HI Martin

Thanks for the clarification! So once the filter of fear has been released then the situation will be seen differently. And how we see things is more relevant then the actual situation.


Thank you

SG

[Martin Brofman]

The actual situation is an event in the physical world. How we see it is a function of how we interpret it.

Often, when someone is seeing through a filter of fear, the fear is an illusion.

[Angeleyes]

Re-reading this, I see I have re-created this scenario any time in my life that I spoke my truth and I've created a lot of backlash against myself for it. Each time it has seemed to me that I have been unfairly treated.
So I've created that reality.
I've also only spoken my truth on the big issues. I see now I let all the small things pass in life, saving my energy for the things that would make the biggest difference.
"Often, when someone is seeing through a filter of fear, the fear is an illusion."
I wonder now if that was it all along.
After I have spoken my truth in the past and the backlash came, I saw everything through a filter of fear, instead of "gosh aren't they angry", and "just because they're screaming at me and shaking with rage doesn't mean that I have to take it, or that I'm wrong"
I think I also looked at these situations through a filter of anger, as I was angry about being what I perceived as wronged, but afraid of expressing my anger, because I was already afraid and angry at what me expressing my truth had brought up, so I couldn't risk provoking any more anger by expressing that I felt angry at their behaviour, which I saw to be unjustified.
So in future, perhaps I can remind myself that "it's ok, this is still my truth no matter what their reaction".
I know I have doubted myself in the past when the other person's rage came up, and now I look back and see it wasn't doubt it was an illusion of fear and anger.

" and it is possible to let it release as a general process, rather than deal with individual fear of this, fear of that, etc"

So I can focus on releasing fear and anger as a general process.
Thank you for this Message Board, Martin. It could also be nicknamed the Sounding Board:))

[maiwa]

"it's ok, this is still my truth no matter what their reaction"

this also speaks to me, thanks Angeleyes!

[Martin Brofman]

You can use "When I speak my truth, something wonderful always happens,"

...and "When I do what I really want to do, something wonderful always happens,"

...and "People appreciate when I am fully being myself."

[Angeleyes]

Thank you Martin,
I've been using these affirmations. What became very clear to me when I use
"People appreciate when I am fully being myself."

is a very powerful affirmation from within:

"I appreciate when I am fully being myself"

Namaste