Post by Martin Brofman on May 1, 2010 7:25:50 GMT 1
Mirroring
(Politics of Communication)
When you offer feedback after the healing to the subject, certain dynamics of communication become evident. You know that you may not impose your view on the subject, but just offer the view from your own bubble. The subject can express that your view talks to them, or that they do not have an experience of what was described to them.
If your view is what the subject can relate to, the communication can be accepted, and it can be clear that it was a valid communication. That is, what you as the healer experienced and communicated was also reflected in the subject’s experience. The subject could relate to what had been described. In addition, the receiver of the communication was as interested in hearing what was said, as was the transmitter of the information in offering it.
We know also that if the subject does not relate to what was communicated, or has no experience of it, it is useful to report that. In this case, your experience as the healer in what was communicated was not reflected in the experience of the subject. Still, the receiver of the information was as interested in hearing what was said, as was the transmitter of the information in offering it. The communication was still accepted. We also know that perhaps some time afterward, the subject might realize that what was communicated does, in fact, talk to them. It might be in a way different from what you as the healer had expressed.
You must remember that you were expressing the view as seen through and colored by your own bubble. The information given in the feedback, though, must make sense to the one who was healed. The picture may be the same, but with a different interpretation.
When the subject does not relate to what you have communicated, you must examine the nature of your own perceptions. Perhaps the subject will recognize something later on, but then again, maybe not. We know that we are each in a bubble, the filter of our perceptions, and that the inside of our bubble is a mirror. Could you have been seeing a reflection of yourself? Could what you described in the communication talk to you? Could you recognize it as a biased point of view, or based on your past perceptions or prejudices? Perhaps, and perhaps not, but it is important that you ask yourself the questions.
If you repeatedly communicate the same sort of information during different healings, you must take a close look at the degree to which the information talks to you, and whether you need to take some advice from yourself, applying in your own life the advice and feedback you have been communicating to others during their healings.
Even when the subject has accepted as their own all of the information you communicated, you can still choose to notice any consistent “themes,” and ask yourself anyway whether the communication talks to you as well, or whether it can possibly be relevant to you. You can use the healing of the subject to give yourself feedback about how to handle the issues in your own life. It can look to you as though the subject has had the same problems, but has perhaps gone further into stress with them, experiencing the effects of that stress, perhaps even as deadly symptoms.
You can then see where you, yourself, might be heading if you do not change direction, and find resolution for yourself. You can see the subject with compassion, and speak with the subject as you would to yourself, knowing that the subject has helped you with your own healing. You can also sincerely thank the subject afterward for the experience of the healing.
Even when the similarities between the subject’s symptoms and your life are not apparent in the moment of experience, you may notice that you have been attracting a particular type of healing. Has there been something that all of these healings have had in common? Has it been different from the types of healings that other healers have attracted?
If you notice some common theme, you can pay attention to that. If the feedback from those other healings is not remembered, you can pay attention to the healings you will attract to yourself after that, and know that the Universe is providing you with everything you need to heal your own life while healing others.
We can say that we attract to ourselves others who bring out from us information we need to hear for ourselves. Thus, the source of all we need to know is in our own consciousness. Our perceptions are all that we need to give us all the information we need about how to conduct our own lives. In that way, we are each our own guru, our own master, and our own guide. All that has been needed was to know how to decode and understand what our own perceptions have been showing us. Seeing things in this way, we can experience a sense of real freedom, while taking full responsibility for ourselves.
You may offer your services to those who appear to need it, while at the same time leaving the others the right to accept or reject your offer of help. If the others choose to not accept the help, you can examine your own perceptions of the others for possible adjustment, and for what these perceptions show you.
For example, you may have the idea that someone needs a healing because his or her values differ from yours. Perhaps the person is angry in that moment, but feeling okay about that, or perhaps their way of dealing with money, sexuality or relationships is different from yours.
You might decide that the other person is not clear in their consciousness, but they might not feel the same way. If they are not interested in accepting a healing, or do not share your perception that a healing is needed, you must consider that perhaps your own prejudices need to be healed.
If it’s clear that the other person is experiencing the effects of a physical symptom, and therefore obviously needs a healing but does not want one for some reason, you can choose to see him or her with compassion, and not press your offer. Perhaps their ’healing needs to happen another time, or another way, or with another healer.
It’s interesting to apply the same dynamics of communication to every day life. After all, isn’t it still about each of the participants in an event expressing their own experience, and what is true for them? When the mutual respect of the healing transaction is applied to interpersonal communication, we recognize a similarity of these dynamics.
When there is communication, it is supposed that both parties are interested in the communication. When your perceptions of others evoke in you a desire to tell something to the other person, ask yourself whether the other person is as eager to hear the advice as you are to give it. If so, there is a potential for communication.
When the person who is intended to receive the communication is less interested in hearing it than you are in communicating it, you have something to examine. Apparently, the words want to come out, but they do not want to be heard by the other.
Who, then, are the words for? Perhaps yourself. Maybe later on, the other can ask for the feedback, and then you can complete the communication, and each of you can consider the degree to which the information communicated talks to you. When you are directing words towards others, you can notice when you are talking to yourself, and then you can listen as well, knowing that you’re about to give yourself some excellent advice that will help you with something that has been a problem. You can even thank the other person for having evoked this advice from you to you.
If you are the intended receiver of the information, you can remember that everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, and an opinion is all that is being communicated. The other person is just expressing his or her point of view. If the communication arouses resistance, perhaps something about the resistance needs to be examined.
You can always ask yourself whether what was communicated talks to you, or whether it is apparent that the one making the communication is looking into the magic mirror, and talking to themselves.
If a decision is made to communicate, and to do so clearly, the receiver can choose to hear what was said, and if their ’own experience is something different from what was communicated, they can express that.
When both participants in a communication feel free to express their own view, and their experience of what was communicated by the other, misunderstandings can be cleared up, and disagreements based on these misunderstandings can be resolved. Each one can understand the other’s bubble. When each of the positions is acknowledged, another level of communication is possible.
Using these same principles, we can examine the nature of our own perceptions, and learn from them, even when we have not externalized these perceptions in a verbal communication with another being.
The filter of our perceptions surrounds us, like a bubble, as you know quite well by now. Everything we experience is perceived through this filter. This filter colors everything we perceive. We can say that at least some of the time, we do not see things as they are, but rather as we are. We project onto others our perceptions of their motivations, and what we believe is good for them to do or not do.
When we feel resistance to someone, we can ask ourselves what the characteristics are of that person. What kind of person are they? What words could be used to describe them? Then, we can ask ourselves whether those words could be used to describe us, and we might feel a bit embarrassed to discover that in fact, we remember situations where those words would certainly describe us.
We might say to ourselves that our motivations were proper at that time, and we did what we did for a good reason. Then, we must also consider that the other person is probably justifying their actions in the same way, and perhaps having the same motivations.
We are then able to see the other as a reflection of ourselves, and when we do that, much (if not all) of the resistance disappears. Where there had been a wall, and a barrier to communication, there is now a doorway, and a possibility of communication. We are able to see the other with compassion, and we can accept the wisdom that comes with this compassion. We have then been able to raise our perceptions from the level of the solar plexus to the level of the heart. We are more easily able to see the other with acceptance. Resistance disappears.
We had thought, perhaps, that we could decide what the other should do differently. However, with the exception of actions that threaten the societal organism in which we function, all we must really concern ourselves with as free Beings is our actions and attitudes. In accepting others as they are, we are still free to decide for ourselves our own proper course of action, and what we should do.
If you relate to the process described here, it is easy to see that you had been putting yourself in the other’s place, and saying, “If I were that other person, I should be doing something different from that.” According to the values with which you live, if you were that other person, you would be doing something wrong. What you may not have considered is that the other person may be living with other values, and that what they have been doing might be working for them, according to their own values. That person brought out from you advice that would be good for you to follow. We can say, then, that you were talking to yourself. Were you listening, too?
The world is full of people who are walking around and talking to themselves, but only some of them are listening. When we realize this, we continue to walk around talking to ourselves, but then, we listen, also.
While this mirroring aspect to our perceptions is generally buried below the level of awareness for most people, at the usual levels of perception of the first three chakras, it does become a direct experience from the level of the Green Chakra, the chakra of the heart. We directly perceive others as reflections of ourselves, and all of the processes described above become directly evident.
We are able to see ourselves in the other’s place, and speak to them as if speaking to ourselves. We can experience more compassion in our perceptions of the other, with the realizations triggered by that compassion, and the wisdom that it generates.
We are then able to communicate more freely, and more easily, and use this communication as a vehicle for true relating. Then, we are able to love more.
Love heals.
Anything can be healed.
From my book, Anything Can Be Healed, Chapter 28
Copyright 1988 Martin Brofman
(Politics of Communication)
When you offer feedback after the healing to the subject, certain dynamics of communication become evident. You know that you may not impose your view on the subject, but just offer the view from your own bubble. The subject can express that your view talks to them, or that they do not have an experience of what was described to them.
If your view is what the subject can relate to, the communication can be accepted, and it can be clear that it was a valid communication. That is, what you as the healer experienced and communicated was also reflected in the subject’s experience. The subject could relate to what had been described. In addition, the receiver of the communication was as interested in hearing what was said, as was the transmitter of the information in offering it.
We know also that if the subject does not relate to what was communicated, or has no experience of it, it is useful to report that. In this case, your experience as the healer in what was communicated was not reflected in the experience of the subject. Still, the receiver of the information was as interested in hearing what was said, as was the transmitter of the information in offering it. The communication was still accepted. We also know that perhaps some time afterward, the subject might realize that what was communicated does, in fact, talk to them. It might be in a way different from what you as the healer had expressed.
You must remember that you were expressing the view as seen through and colored by your own bubble. The information given in the feedback, though, must make sense to the one who was healed. The picture may be the same, but with a different interpretation.
When the subject does not relate to what you have communicated, you must examine the nature of your own perceptions. Perhaps the subject will recognize something later on, but then again, maybe not. We know that we are each in a bubble, the filter of our perceptions, and that the inside of our bubble is a mirror. Could you have been seeing a reflection of yourself? Could what you described in the communication talk to you? Could you recognize it as a biased point of view, or based on your past perceptions or prejudices? Perhaps, and perhaps not, but it is important that you ask yourself the questions.
If you repeatedly communicate the same sort of information during different healings, you must take a close look at the degree to which the information talks to you, and whether you need to take some advice from yourself, applying in your own life the advice and feedback you have been communicating to others during their healings.
Even when the subject has accepted as their own all of the information you communicated, you can still choose to notice any consistent “themes,” and ask yourself anyway whether the communication talks to you as well, or whether it can possibly be relevant to you. You can use the healing of the subject to give yourself feedback about how to handle the issues in your own life. It can look to you as though the subject has had the same problems, but has perhaps gone further into stress with them, experiencing the effects of that stress, perhaps even as deadly symptoms.
You can then see where you, yourself, might be heading if you do not change direction, and find resolution for yourself. You can see the subject with compassion, and speak with the subject as you would to yourself, knowing that the subject has helped you with your own healing. You can also sincerely thank the subject afterward for the experience of the healing.
Even when the similarities between the subject’s symptoms and your life are not apparent in the moment of experience, you may notice that you have been attracting a particular type of healing. Has there been something that all of these healings have had in common? Has it been different from the types of healings that other healers have attracted?
If you notice some common theme, you can pay attention to that. If the feedback from those other healings is not remembered, you can pay attention to the healings you will attract to yourself after that, and know that the Universe is providing you with everything you need to heal your own life while healing others.
We can say that we attract to ourselves others who bring out from us information we need to hear for ourselves. Thus, the source of all we need to know is in our own consciousness. Our perceptions are all that we need to give us all the information we need about how to conduct our own lives. In that way, we are each our own guru, our own master, and our own guide. All that has been needed was to know how to decode and understand what our own perceptions have been showing us. Seeing things in this way, we can experience a sense of real freedom, while taking full responsibility for ourselves.
You may offer your services to those who appear to need it, while at the same time leaving the others the right to accept or reject your offer of help. If the others choose to not accept the help, you can examine your own perceptions of the others for possible adjustment, and for what these perceptions show you.
For example, you may have the idea that someone needs a healing because his or her values differ from yours. Perhaps the person is angry in that moment, but feeling okay about that, or perhaps their way of dealing with money, sexuality or relationships is different from yours.
You might decide that the other person is not clear in their consciousness, but they might not feel the same way. If they are not interested in accepting a healing, or do not share your perception that a healing is needed, you must consider that perhaps your own prejudices need to be healed.
If it’s clear that the other person is experiencing the effects of a physical symptom, and therefore obviously needs a healing but does not want one for some reason, you can choose to see him or her with compassion, and not press your offer. Perhaps their ’healing needs to happen another time, or another way, or with another healer.
It’s interesting to apply the same dynamics of communication to every day life. After all, isn’t it still about each of the participants in an event expressing their own experience, and what is true for them? When the mutual respect of the healing transaction is applied to interpersonal communication, we recognize a similarity of these dynamics.
When there is communication, it is supposed that both parties are interested in the communication. When your perceptions of others evoke in you a desire to tell something to the other person, ask yourself whether the other person is as eager to hear the advice as you are to give it. If so, there is a potential for communication.
When the person who is intended to receive the communication is less interested in hearing it than you are in communicating it, you have something to examine. Apparently, the words want to come out, but they do not want to be heard by the other.
Who, then, are the words for? Perhaps yourself. Maybe later on, the other can ask for the feedback, and then you can complete the communication, and each of you can consider the degree to which the information communicated talks to you. When you are directing words towards others, you can notice when you are talking to yourself, and then you can listen as well, knowing that you’re about to give yourself some excellent advice that will help you with something that has been a problem. You can even thank the other person for having evoked this advice from you to you.
If you are the intended receiver of the information, you can remember that everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, and an opinion is all that is being communicated. The other person is just expressing his or her point of view. If the communication arouses resistance, perhaps something about the resistance needs to be examined.
You can always ask yourself whether what was communicated talks to you, or whether it is apparent that the one making the communication is looking into the magic mirror, and talking to themselves.
If a decision is made to communicate, and to do so clearly, the receiver can choose to hear what was said, and if their ’own experience is something different from what was communicated, they can express that.
When both participants in a communication feel free to express their own view, and their experience of what was communicated by the other, misunderstandings can be cleared up, and disagreements based on these misunderstandings can be resolved. Each one can understand the other’s bubble. When each of the positions is acknowledged, another level of communication is possible.
Using these same principles, we can examine the nature of our own perceptions, and learn from them, even when we have not externalized these perceptions in a verbal communication with another being.
The filter of our perceptions surrounds us, like a bubble, as you know quite well by now. Everything we experience is perceived through this filter. This filter colors everything we perceive. We can say that at least some of the time, we do not see things as they are, but rather as we are. We project onto others our perceptions of their motivations, and what we believe is good for them to do or not do.
When we feel resistance to someone, we can ask ourselves what the characteristics are of that person. What kind of person are they? What words could be used to describe them? Then, we can ask ourselves whether those words could be used to describe us, and we might feel a bit embarrassed to discover that in fact, we remember situations where those words would certainly describe us.
We might say to ourselves that our motivations were proper at that time, and we did what we did for a good reason. Then, we must also consider that the other person is probably justifying their actions in the same way, and perhaps having the same motivations.
We are then able to see the other as a reflection of ourselves, and when we do that, much (if not all) of the resistance disappears. Where there had been a wall, and a barrier to communication, there is now a doorway, and a possibility of communication. We are able to see the other with compassion, and we can accept the wisdom that comes with this compassion. We have then been able to raise our perceptions from the level of the solar plexus to the level of the heart. We are more easily able to see the other with acceptance. Resistance disappears.
We had thought, perhaps, that we could decide what the other should do differently. However, with the exception of actions that threaten the societal organism in which we function, all we must really concern ourselves with as free Beings is our actions and attitudes. In accepting others as they are, we are still free to decide for ourselves our own proper course of action, and what we should do.
If you relate to the process described here, it is easy to see that you had been putting yourself in the other’s place, and saying, “If I were that other person, I should be doing something different from that.” According to the values with which you live, if you were that other person, you would be doing something wrong. What you may not have considered is that the other person may be living with other values, and that what they have been doing might be working for them, according to their own values. That person brought out from you advice that would be good for you to follow. We can say, then, that you were talking to yourself. Were you listening, too?
The world is full of people who are walking around and talking to themselves, but only some of them are listening. When we realize this, we continue to walk around talking to ourselves, but then, we listen, also.
While this mirroring aspect to our perceptions is generally buried below the level of awareness for most people, at the usual levels of perception of the first three chakras, it does become a direct experience from the level of the Green Chakra, the chakra of the heart. We directly perceive others as reflections of ourselves, and all of the processes described above become directly evident.
We are able to see ourselves in the other’s place, and speak to them as if speaking to ourselves. We can experience more compassion in our perceptions of the other, with the realizations triggered by that compassion, and the wisdom that it generates.
We are then able to communicate more freely, and more easily, and use this communication as a vehicle for true relating. Then, we are able to love more.
Love heals.
Anything can be healed.
From my book, Anything Can Be Healed, Chapter 28
Copyright 1988 Martin Brofman