As after a flash

[queen8]

Hi!
I've had this problem for a long time, but the last weeks it's more dominant to me or it happens more often, I feel. In front of my eyes there's this "thing" that is hinders me to see clearly, just like what happens after someone takes a photo with a flash and you look straight at it: you see this "light" after it's over. How come?

Another thing: I had a meeting with a government official yesterday. She has done a really poor job to help my case earlier. When I met her, she made some nice comments about how I looked, and okay, I wasn't rude, but I wasn't very welcoming either. So today I've been telling myself I need to behave more nicely. Then I read through some posts at the Message Board and it strikes me that maybe NOT being welcoming to her is a way to protect myself and maybe that's what I need, so maybe I shouldn't feel bad for not "stretching out my hand" to her. I guess this has to do with authority and moral and culture, but it's probably also part of my search to find out if it's okay to give priority to my own needs and not the other one's. Is it okay to not behave friendly towards everyone?

[Martin Brofman]

About the "flash" - not sure, but anyway, if it hinders sight, something for you to look at in terms of what was happening in those moments, or what you were thinking at the time.

About behaving friendly - it's sometimes a matter of protocol rather than manners, particularly when it is with someone you would like to do something for you, and in that case, what is it that works best for you. A way of getting your needs met.

If you were in the other person's shoes, how eager would you be to help someone being cold to you?

[queen8]

There's been more flashes when there's been disagreement about what to do. I was "commanded" to go to a course, then the leader of the course said he really understood it was not a course for me, and the next day when going to the course I had the flashes, in fact I couldn't see enough to get to the course that day. It's been mainly on my right side, so not wanting to see the understanding I got, not trusting the understanding enough to act on it... I'm not totally sure. Or: not wanting to see that someone sent me to do that course when it obviously was not good for me. That feels more right.

Thank you for being here and available!

[Martin Brofman]

Sounds like it could be stuff with authority / father.