Blue specks, random questions, my progress

[Michael]

When I do the eye exercises I see all these little blue specks for a short time. Does anyone else experience this, and what is it all about?

Also, does squinting help or does it hinder the return-to-clarity process? I've been doing a lot of squinting.

Since I've been going w/out glasses and contacts I've noticed that I don't force smiles as much. I also feel more loving. Anyways, that's my experience so far with this.

[Angeleyes]

Hi Michael,
I don't see blue specks but I used to see black spots a lot when I didn't have my glasses on, can't say I noticed any difference when doing exercises. My optician told me seeing black spots was a sign of the retina detaching which in her opinion was common with glaucoma and there was really no way back from this. She's welcome to her opinion but I took it as a sign I needed to do some serious work on my eyes and found this book.
I have noticed recently that doing the eye exercises is bringing out a sinus problem which I believe was semi dormant for years, making itself known now and then. This time I want to look at it, I know sinus is do do with home, mother, career and money. My mum was diagnosed with cancer shortly before my weakening vision was diagnosed. But that was years ago and I've been living with glasses/ contact lenses for 29 out of my 35 years. The hardest thing I find is not knowing who I really am, the me without glasses who does what she wants, I've spent so long hanging backand not joining in. I realise this worsened with her death as from that time on I chose not to have anyone in my life who would encourage me and send me out there into the world to mix with others. I have recently found my self making more effort to get out there but feel I have reverted back to hiding within my home again. I don't know what else to do to heal my relationship with my mum. I send absent healing to the time and person I was when I first chose not to see and to the person who at different times in her life chose not to see even more and to the person I am now whose chosing to see but can't see any noticeable success. I find I get uptight trying to force it all which reminds me Michael, I squinted alot as a child to try and see more and found myself doing it recently to see something and thought this was actually squeezing the eye muscles I need to relax if I'm to improve my eyesight. Sorry for rambling ,
Alice

[Michael]

Hey Alice!
I think that it may help your situation with your mom if you focus on simply accepting the whole situation, and then allowing yourself to feel whatever you feel in the moment. Cry your eyes out if that's what it takes. I cry sometimes. It's really not that big of a deal to me anymore. I mean when ya think about it why would anyone with an open heart attempt to take advantage of someone just because they're vulnerable? Anyways, I know that for me personally I feel a lot better when I just accept something as it is, and when I just accept someone as they are.

I've also realized that it isn't worth changing yourself for others just to keep them "happy" or to avoid confrontation. So far I've been myself more and more and I haven't really had any confrontation whatsoever. I've noticed that people like me more too. I like me more now too, and that feels good.

If I continue to change myself(which is out of fear) to get a certain response out of people or so they'll like me, then I'm gonna attract others that'll do the same thing to me. It's manipulative. It doesn't feel good; not for me or anyone else.

I think that it all really comes down to a simple fact......either I'm compatible with someone or I'm not compatible. There are like 7 billion people on this planet, so why compromise your happiness in this lifetime for a few? Anyways, these affirmations might help you:

I accept myself fully as I am.
I AM ENOUGH!
I love myself no matter what.
I can't "make" anyone happy.

Make sure to keep the glasses and contacts away from you as much as possible. They're filters of fear. You don't need them.

I love you as you are, my friend. I hope what I've said helps you. Have a nice day!

[A Guest]

Alice -
Did you succeed in getting rid of the black spots?

Michael -
May I suggest an alternative to your fourth affirmation?:

"I see happiness everywhere"

[Martin Brofman]

Michael - good that you are not forcing smiles. That means you are more comfortable being yourself - and it's a good realization that you do not "make" anyone happy - except yourself. For the others, they choose whatever they choose to feel, regardless of what you do or do not do. Be around those who appreciate who you are.

Alice - A suggestion - let in your mother's love. Know that she loves you, and let the love in. FEEL loved by her.

[Angeleyes]

Hi Michael and A Guest
Thanks for your suggestions.
I meant to say that I didn't notice the black spots when doing the exercises.
A Guest - I very rarely see the black spots.
On re reading my post it sounds different to what I meant to say; I don't have glaucoma but my optician was indicating that it was merely the next step down the road for me. She used to say "I'm afraid your vision is deteriorating and once we head down that slippery slope there's no going back." I went to a different optician for my last eye exam.
My vision when last checked was Right eye -10.00 and left eye 10.75 with-0.25 astigmatism. According to the optician total blindness is -20.
So I feel I have really not been being myself , or not wanting to see myself and how I am living my life is not conducive to my vision. I am constantly under stress and I don't know how to change this, I mostly see things getting worse before they get better.
Michael -
I have cried about my Mum many times and try to allow myself to feel a feeling when it comes up as for years I stuffed everything down. Your words are very honest and I appreciate that.
Alice

[Angeleyes]

Thank you Martin,
Just today I realised that I had shut out my mother's love again, although in the past I believed I had been letting it in, I suppose it's one of those things I need to work on allowing it in all the time.
Alice

[Michael]

Okay, I've got another random question here.

Martin, and anyone else whom this may pertain to, did your visualization skills improve when your vision cleared up?

It makes sense to me that if your outer vision clears then your inner vision should also become more clear, but I dunno.

[april]

hi Michael,
I really don't know about visualisation, but I have noticed that in my dreams I "see" things very clearly.I remember the faces, and the details -I'm not nearsighted in my dreams!!

I think it is possible to visualise clearly but I don't know if this improves when vision is clearer.
I'm waiting for Martin's answer too!

[Martin Brofman]

For me, the two are independent. One does not depend on the other.