Post by Angeleyes on Jan 28, 2007 19:27:06 GMT 1
Dear Martin,
As I work on being myself I have a realisation of seeing so much more than others sometimes see, for example I have seen or sensed when someone tells a lie. I sometimes see when someone is having an affair even though their partner and those close to them don't. I am uncomfortable knowing this much about someone elses life and at times wish I didn't see it. I feel awkward in their company. I try not to judge them yet I feel fear and a bit sick that I might be in the firing line when it all hits the fan. I suppose I feel because I see it I have taken on some sort of responsibility for anothers pain as I couldn't stop it. This seems a bit presumptuous of me as I know I've no right to deprive others of their choices and consequences in life.
It reminds me of my childhood when I first lost my eyesight, if something was wrong or bothering me I didn't say, couldn't say and chose to not let myself say out of fear, and I had my tonsils removed I believe as a result of not letting myself speak. There was a lot of anger, frustration and fear in my life. After the tonsils went I din't want to see and used to spend my days and nights hiding behind a book and getting lost in a story because I didn't want to see things I would feel I'd have to speak out about and my eyesight deteriorated. I felt I lived in a hostile world where all the adults at home and at school were really out of control with their anger and resentment. I even have more memories of my older siblings being nasty and picking and sniping at me and each other than I do of good times. Yet I know there were good times.
When I see these things in anothers energy field which I know will cause pain if discovered I get a lump in my throat. I don't know how to deal with what I see to improve my eyesight.
I find recently more often I am finding this sensation of something being stuck in my throat and I don't want to deal with issues that come up becuse I want an alternative to come along .
Alice
As I work on being myself I have a realisation of seeing so much more than others sometimes see, for example I have seen or sensed when someone tells a lie. I sometimes see when someone is having an affair even though their partner and those close to them don't. I am uncomfortable knowing this much about someone elses life and at times wish I didn't see it. I feel awkward in their company. I try not to judge them yet I feel fear and a bit sick that I might be in the firing line when it all hits the fan. I suppose I feel because I see it I have taken on some sort of responsibility for anothers pain as I couldn't stop it. This seems a bit presumptuous of me as I know I've no right to deprive others of their choices and consequences in life.
It reminds me of my childhood when I first lost my eyesight, if something was wrong or bothering me I didn't say, couldn't say and chose to not let myself say out of fear, and I had my tonsils removed I believe as a result of not letting myself speak. There was a lot of anger, frustration and fear in my life. After the tonsils went I din't want to see and used to spend my days and nights hiding behind a book and getting lost in a story because I didn't want to see things I would feel I'd have to speak out about and my eyesight deteriorated. I felt I lived in a hostile world where all the adults at home and at school were really out of control with their anger and resentment. I even have more memories of my older siblings being nasty and picking and sniping at me and each other than I do of good times. Yet I know there were good times.
When I see these things in anothers energy field which I know will cause pain if discovered I get a lump in my throat. I don't know how to deal with what I see to improve my eyesight.
I find recently more often I am finding this sensation of something being stuck in my throat and I don't want to deal with issues that come up becuse I want an alternative to come along .
Alice