Lisa
Junior Member
Posts: 65
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Post by Lisa on Jun 29, 2008 2:48:06 GMT 1
Hi Martin, I am awaiting the arrival of your books from Amazon.
In the meantime, I have a question regarding vision improvement.
I first got glasses when I was 16. I believe what had gone on to cause this was some fear/stress I experienced while an exchange student in Spain. When I returned home, I needed the glasses.
As I wore them all the time, probably for a minor need (likely only 20/30 or 20/50), my vision declined progressively.
After about 6 years of wearing glasses for nearsightedness and astigmatism (about 20/300 by then), I took a vision improvement class with Thomas Quackenbush and my vision improved to the point that I can pass the licensing exam, so about 20/50. I do not need to wear glasses while driving, legally, but I do sometimes where them at night.
I would really like to get back to 20/20 consistently and wonder how I might do that. Since I have both nearsightedness and astigmatism I am thinking it is about fear/mistrust and confusion. I can find both of those.
Do I need to deal with what happened in the past or just move into now and deal with those tensions in each moment?
What type of being has perfect vision?
Thanks. Lisa
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Post by Martin Brofman on Jun 29, 2008 7:28:33 GMT 1
I would say that it was not about being an exchange student, but about coming home. Look at your home environment, and see where there was a sense of insecurity, hiding inside, afraid to show you, etc.
The reason for looking at this is to see the relationship between what was happening in your consciousness and what was happening in your eyesight, so that you can also realize that by changing your consciousness you can also change your eyesight. You have done that before, so you can choose to just go further with the process, releasing old beliefs that had been causing the tensions in your consciousness.
People with clear vision are those who have been more successful in dealing with their environment, at least in terms of their eyesight - though they might indeed have manifested other symptoms.
Clarity of vision implies a willingness to see what is.
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Lisa
Junior Member
Posts: 65
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Post by Lisa on Jun 29, 2008 16:10:25 GMT 1
Thanks, Martin. Trying to be brief, I didn't explain the situation that happened while I was an exchange student, but it involved experiencing a lot of stress living with my first host family and being scared that they would send me home because they no longer wanted me because their son was being sent home from the US for problems with drugs and alcohol and stealing. This was a supposedly prestigious family, so this would have been very embarrassing for them. All I can remember was that I didn't want to go home, and was very frightened and stressed at that time, and that that is probably when I first started having poor vision from the back of the classroom, but didn't check my eyes until returning to the US and taking driver's ed, which is when they told me I needed glasses before I could take the driving part of the class.
Anyway, if I look at what was going on in my consicousness when I came home. I'd say that I was sad to return, because I had a boyfriend in Spain, and I recall I mentioned something about feeling abandoned or something and my mom took me to a therapist a couple of times. Oh, I think I said it felt like all the men in my life had left me - a bit dramatic probably, but she was worried. My mom and dad had divorced when I was 9.
The other thing I remember about coming back to the US and my family was that I missed the closeness and intimate way that my second family and friends in Spain related to each other, much more touch than in my own family and with my own friends.
I was yearning for that warmth and closeness of relationships, and my family and friends seemed to not be able to relate in that way.
I still find it difficult to relate to family and friends (except my children) in an intimate way, with hugs and terms of endearment, etc. Worried about what people will think, rather than just being me.
Oh, I was afraid to show the "new" me, the new me that came to enjoy the closer relationships I experienced in Span, perhaps? This is certainly true in that when I returned I had a new friend (a girl) and felt like we were really close and we would give each other hugs and stuff, and then people thought we were gay, which we weren't, but that hurt my feelings and made me not want to express myself in that way anymore, so I closed that new openness down, and it hasn't really returned since, except perhaps with a few "safe" friends.
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Post by Martin Brofman on Jun 29, 2008 16:28:11 GMT 1
>>>I still find it difficult to relate to family and friends (except my children) in an intimate way, with hugs and terms of endearment, etc. Worried about what people will think, rather than just being me. Oh, I was afraid to show the "new" me, the new me that came to enjoy the closer relationships I experienced in Span, perhaps?
This sounds like it would fit the profile for neartsightedness. The thing to look at is not only that it was measured like that when you came home, but also that it continued to deteriorate over the years.
You can change the profile and choose to be around others who are more comfortable and demonstrative and open with honest expression of emotions.
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Lisa
Junior Member
Posts: 65
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Post by Lisa on Jul 1, 2008 6:37:00 GMT 1
Hi Martin, Would you please say a bit more about the above comment: Clarity of vision implies a willingness to see what is.
It seems that I have trouble with discovering/understanding what is, as it seems like it is whatever you believe it is, BUT I am always trying to figure out the BEST way or the RIGHT way or some truth.
I noticed today that I still have beliefs about making mistakes, doing something the wrong way. I'm also noticing how I seek other people's approval and argue with them, wanting them to see things my way, not feeling comfortable with the fact that we see things differently and value different things. Rather than seeing that as just fine, and natural, I seem to think there must be a right and a wrong way, rather than just different ways. I prefer to avoid conflict.
I also notice how seriously I take life. I'd like to lighten up a bit. :-)
Thanks.
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Post by Martin Brofman on Jul 8, 2008 17:57:02 GMT 1
"Clarity of vision implies a willingness to see what is."
Non-clear vision, described from the oint of view that we each create our reality, iumplies that the person has been keeping themselves from seeing something, or feeling threatened by what is. In your case, for example, you want others to see things your way, and perhaps have not been easily willing to see how they might be right in their reality as you feel right in yours. You have not been comfortable with the idea that someone else does not have to be wrong for you to be right, and vice-versa. Just different truths....
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Lisa
Junior Member
Posts: 65
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Post by Lisa on Jul 9, 2008 14:09:56 GMT 1
Yes, Martin. Exactly. This is what I would like to change - to be okay with people having their truths and that they don't have to be wrong. It's all good.
Thanks.
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Post by Martin Brofman on Jul 9, 2008 14:16:40 GMT 1
...and that you do not have to feel threatened in your reality if they see things differently than you do.
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Lisa
Junior Member
Posts: 65
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Post by Lisa on Jul 9, 2008 16:08:08 GMT 1
Yes, this is what I have struggled with. If they don't agree, then I question my own truth and then I am totally confused, always searching for that "right" way to be, etc. Very exhausting. Also, I have felt that that is how people connect with each other, that is, when they agree on something, then that is a connecting point and feels good. When I didn't agree with something somebody I care about says or does, it felt bad and like something was wrong, so I might change to conform to their belief or argue to stand up for my belief, rather than just accept their truth as their truth and mine and mine and be okay with that.
I am LOVING your book Martin. What does it take to get you to come to the US to teach some seminars? What does an organizer need to do?
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Post by Martin Brofman on Jul 9, 2008 16:42:24 GMT 1
Hi, Lisa,
I will send an information sheet about that to your email address.
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