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Post by guardian on Oct 8, 2010 13:59:37 GMT 1
Hi Martin and all. Thank you for your previous healings and this message board. I feel better because of you all. I'am still experiencing some symptoms but I know they will fade away as i continue my healing. Since my healing started, my personality has changed a lot. I have changed to that point that now find myself where I cannot be with my old friends and started isolating and feeling lonely. I feel that i don't have much in common with them and when i am with them i feel disconnected. I also feel afraid to find new ones. I also started to experience falling of hair on the top of my head. No one has it in my family and i know it is a symptom i have created. It's not something that is "serious" but I'm 28 years old and i think now it's not the time to lose my hair By reading this message board, i've found out that this symptom is created by malfunction of the crown chakra. I would like to know more about authority. What is authority? Who exactly represents authority? What is the correct and healthy attitude towards authority? What is the relation between authority and connection/separation from other people? And for my socialising... How can i connect with people? Is going out with old friends and socialising enough for connection? Thank you very much.
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Post by Martin Brofman on Oct 8, 2010 14:13:01 GMT 1
The crown chakra is not only about authority but also about feeling isolated - so your current sense of isolation can very well be related to your hair falling out. You need to allow yourself to meet new people. If your old friends are not into what you are into, you need to find others who are, and with whom you can communicate.
...or just begin to communicate with your friends those things and ideas that are important for you, and see if they can get into it or not.
If you do need to connect with new friends, there is nothing to be afraid of. You will just gravitate to others who are at your vibration.
In terms of authority, it begins with your relationship with your father. That becomes the model for your relationship with authority (teachers, police, bosses - anyone in a position to tell you what you must do).
What is considered a healthy relationship with authority is understanding that what they want for you is what you want for yourself, and they are there to help you achieve it and protect your interests.
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Post by guardian on Oct 8, 2010 14:52:32 GMT 1
Thank you for your reply Martin,
I would like to clarify some things so that i understand you well.
A lot of times i find myself hanging out with my old friends just because of old habbits. I do that because i feel that i need to be with someone, and not because I like to be with them in that moment. Is that worsening my situation?
When i want to hang out and do things that i want to do, no friend seems to be interested. And that's when i find myself doing things on "their time" and "their way" because i do not want to feel alone. It's clear that we have different points of interest and that's why when i do things "my way" no one is around. I would like to point out that i do not judge them, it's just that suddenly i have changed. The fear of being alone makes me hang out with them when i do not want to. If I start doing things "my way" and insisting on that, will i meet people more in sync with me?
And as for authority... I have problems there too. I find myself in a lot of situations where I do not agree with what my boss tells me what to do. And I argue a lot because of that. Should I always listen to authority and do what they say "blindly", or should i stand up for myself and do things my way?
I find myself thinking what my boss should do differently, instead of following what he says. Is that ok?
As for my relationship with my father... I love him and I know he loves me, but i always think that he should do things and behave differently from what he does, which is mirroring the situation when i was younger when he wanted for me to be different from what i was. I see the same pattern with my boss. What should i change?
Thank you
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Post by Martin Brofman on Oct 8, 2010 16:41:55 GMT 1
You seem to have a belief that control = love - that's what you learned from your Dad.
See his "controlling" as the way he expresses his love - and then you can let in the love while still not needing to follow his advice - after all, it is just advice that you can now accept or not. After all, you know that he is just wishing the best for you.
About your boss - Perhaps you can suggest alternatives to your boss about what you should do, but DO NOT decide what he should do different, because he is, after all, your boss, and you are being paid to follow his direction, and he might just know better than you how the job needs to be done. If that feels really bad for you, get a different job.
If your interests are different from your friends' then you do need to find new friends who share the same interests.
BTW - deciding what others should do differently when there is a problem is a control trip. Deciding what YOU should do differently when there is a problem is a freedom trip.
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Post by guardian on Oct 8, 2010 17:56:51 GMT 1
Thank you Martin.
I now think i understand what authority is about. I should acknowledge that it is there to protect me and still live the way I want and do the things i want. It is not meant to control me, but to suggest what is good for me.
About my father... I can "let" my father be the way he is and i can live my life the way i want at the same time, knowing that what he does is just an expression of love and can't affect my decisions.
About my boss... I can suggest my opinion to him, but always do what HE decides. I should not make decisions instead of him. And if at the end something goes wrong it is he who decided how i needed to do the work, and the result is his fault. I always thought that if something goes bad it would be my fault anyway so i always protested at any decision authority made.
Did I get it right?
About friends and socializing... Is a decision to be alone an isolation issue? Sometimes i feel good when i am alone. Do i need to be with somebody in order not to be isolated? Do i need to socialize all the time or do i need to follow my inner voice when to be alone and when to be with other people?
Thank you for your help and healing. It means a lot to me. I feel better because of you.
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Post by Martin Brofman on Oct 8, 2010 21:57:06 GMT 1
Sounds like you got it, loud and clear.
About friends and socializing...
> i need to follow my inner voice when to be alone and when to be with other people?
Exactly.
It's about having the choice, and not being stuck in one way or the other. Being alone when you feel like that, and feeling good with that, and being with others when you feel like it, and feeling good with that...
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Post by guardian on Oct 12, 2010 11:39:33 GMT 1
Thank you for your healing Martin.
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Post by Martin Brofman on Oct 12, 2010 14:10:56 GMT 1
It's what I am here for.
You are very welcome.
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