Post by Frida on Aug 1, 2005 22:41:45 GMT 1
Help!
I have been clearing my eyesight since six month. I started at -10/-8,75 in the beginning of february and are now wearing -5 glasses (they are not perfect). Well, I hardly wearing then as I have complete holiday and don't do things with requires good sight. I'm staying at home, resting completely.
I have been going through a personal transformation, which has been up and down like a hell. Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. Not know what to do next and feeling of not fitting in anywhere. I have released moswt of the stressful things in my life (and feel SO happy about it) My latest step will be to go to a place abroad where I have always felt I could be my myself and have hade the feeling of "home" (Well, I strongly believe so, but can I really be able to know, as my eysight/mind isn't clear?). Yet I can't really go there cause I need better vision for that. I don't want do start a new job, a new life and sometimes worrie about my eyesight.
Yesterday when I was realxing on my bed I got the "message" to pack my suitcase. I started to palm, as this feeling was very strong. Directly when I was palming I had the feeling of beeing VERY near clarity in mind. My legs also started to shiver as I felt a bit afraid of the clarity.
I also had a dream last night that a new baby was born. It was me, and I me myself was carrying the baby (carrying myself) and asking my mum (or who it was) "Is this [my name]?" and "Is this me?".
The night before that I had another dream, that I put my old glasses of -10 on. They were to weak.
I'm sick of this myopic mess. I have to be somewhere, but I can't be anywhere. If that old bubble is going to "pop" it should be now. I don't know what to do next. I probably putting to much concern about it. I always expect it to happen. But things just happen when you don't expect it. Everything is complete emptyness at the moment. I can't do anything and I don't know what do think?! I am just NOTHING. I can't get the inner world to be the same as the outer? What do we do when we experienc complete emptyness, when we don't even feel like sleeping and nothing from the outer world can stress us?
I might not have explained this very well but it's such a long story.
Thanks, Your books are great!
Frida
I have been clearing my eyesight since six month. I started at -10/-8,75 in the beginning of february and are now wearing -5 glasses (they are not perfect). Well, I hardly wearing then as I have complete holiday and don't do things with requires good sight. I'm staying at home, resting completely.
I have been going through a personal transformation, which has been up and down like a hell. Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. Not know what to do next and feeling of not fitting in anywhere. I have released moswt of the stressful things in my life (and feel SO happy about it) My latest step will be to go to a place abroad where I have always felt I could be my myself and have hade the feeling of "home" (Well, I strongly believe so, but can I really be able to know, as my eysight/mind isn't clear?). Yet I can't really go there cause I need better vision for that. I don't want do start a new job, a new life and sometimes worrie about my eyesight.
Yesterday when I was realxing on my bed I got the "message" to pack my suitcase. I started to palm, as this feeling was very strong. Directly when I was palming I had the feeling of beeing VERY near clarity in mind. My legs also started to shiver as I felt a bit afraid of the clarity.
I also had a dream last night that a new baby was born. It was me, and I me myself was carrying the baby (carrying myself) and asking my mum (or who it was) "Is this [my name]?" and "Is this me?".
The night before that I had another dream, that I put my old glasses of -10 on. They were to weak.
I'm sick of this myopic mess. I have to be somewhere, but I can't be anywhere. If that old bubble is going to "pop" it should be now. I don't know what to do next. I probably putting to much concern about it. I always expect it to happen. But things just happen when you don't expect it. Everything is complete emptyness at the moment. I can't do anything and I don't know what do think?! I am just NOTHING. I can't get the inner world to be the same as the outer? What do we do when we experienc complete emptyness, when we don't even feel like sleeping and nothing from the outer world can stress us?
I might not have explained this very well but it's such a long story.
Thanks, Your books are great!
Frida