daughter's myopia

[danuta]

Hi, my 9 year old daughter and I have just returned from the eye doctor. Her myopia is at about -4 in each eye. She does not wear glasses other than pinholes at school at times. She is right handed but the doctor said her left eye is dominant. She is not interested in wearing glasses, I do not want her to wear minus lenses, and the doctor said that we can "do nothing" for now and just make sure she sits in the front row at school to see the board. There is no problem with her near vision or depth perception. I am studying Reiki and plan on attending Martin's workshop in September and will use these methods on my own vision as well as hers. I guess my question is... what can I be doing with her now or teaching her in order to lessen the impact of the myopia and prevent its progression? Any insight would be appreciated! Also, can anyone share any stories about myopia reversal in children? Thank you!
Donna

[Martin Brofman]

Look at what was happening in her life recently - what she responded to with fear or insecurity. Strong fear, apparently. Help her generate more confidence.

Is her father present?

[danuta]

Hi, Martin! Thanks for the reply.
Her father (my husband) is a recovering alcoholic, sober now for over 2 years but briefly incarcerated (after 5 dwi's) 2 years ago. He is a strong and steady presence in her life now, but she must remember the dark days. Also, we have had an issue lately with her grandparents (my husband's parents) who are Catholic, bordering fundamentalist, and want us to raise her and her sister Catholic. I have written to them, stating that even though our girls were baptized in the church, they will not be raised Catholic and I would appreciate no further discussion on the topic. I have an inkling that something was preached to her when she visited them at their home last November. My daughter and I have had many discussions about different religions and spiritualities and she knows (I hope) that she can ask me anything and I will answer her as honestly as I can.

With regard to the genetic basis of myopia... the 2 doctors she has seen have said that because I have high myopia, it's not surprising that she does. I can't accept this explanation. There may be a genetic predisposition, but no one in my ancestry had myopia, so obviously there's another cause for mine.

This last optometrist did talk about near point stress. My daughter taught herself to read at age 4 and is what I consider to be a compulsive reader. She almost constantly has a book in front of her face. She reads and comprehends at a high school level. She's been involved in numerous athletic endeavors and is extremely social and well-liked by friends, but the solitary activity of reading seems to be her first love.

Lastly, I don't like to admit it, but because of my own experiences with myopia as a child and progressively thicker lenses, I am a bit obsessed with hers and feel almost desperate at times to find a way to help her.

Thank you for your insights!
Donna

[Martin Brofman]

Because the diagnosis is recent, look at what has been happening in her life recently - and since your communication with her is so good, why not jusst ask her what she is insecure about or afraid of?

[danuta]

I should have stated that her original diagnosis was -2 from 2 years ago when the issues with her father's alcoholism were at the extreme. I have asked her about recent fears or insecurities and her response is in the negative. Meanwhile, I bought her a Myopter to be used while reading. I figure it can't hurt. She was intrepid and fearless when she started school a few years ago but seems more hesitant now. I will continue to work on helping her become more confident.
Thank you!

[Andrew99]

I remember when it was time for me to leave the 8-10 school and go to the bigger boys school that i was more or less terrified about the prospect of that. For sure i felt powerless. The idea that i could have changed the outcome seemed out of my mind altogether. It was going to happen. I was doomed. I dont think i was talking to anybody about what was happening.

I learnt years later that the boy next door begged and pleaded with his builder father to not send him to that school. They moved to another area.

Each of us has different experiences but often people get myopia around a time after they have changed schools. For various reasons it creates insecurities.

It could be that the safety of what is known and all the friendships and sense of community and family of one school is ended and something that appears impossibly overwhelming is what is replacing it. I guess that is what happened for me to some degree. The school did have a terrible image in my mind but in reality it was not so bad there for boys who just accepted the way it was and made the best of it. Additionally i was going from a mixed sex school where all abilities were present to the school for 'thickies' or so i thought. And to some degree i did go from a school where creative intelligent respect for people was replaced with survival of the fittest and the law of the jungle. You either swam or sank. I really was not so well equiped to survive. I was in survival rather than confidantly managing and doing "my time" till such time as i was free again. The whole thing left me a bit disturbed and took me from a shy confused boy to a over compensating hiding even lying boy who felt himself superior to those around him while simultaneously realising he was hopelessly inadequate to cope with what was happening.

Given the experience again i could probably have more happily adapted to the change and learnt what i needed to learn to make it a happier experience where i was winning rather than feeling like a loser while attempting to be clever and finding i was getting the bullying that went with that.

My mum just kept saying that school days were the best days or our lives. All three of her sons were bullied at that school. None of us knew this was happening until our 30's.

My own bullying only ended when mum seeing the bruises marched me into the deputies office and demanded to know what the hell was going on.

At around that time the school also went mixed and maybe that was a mixed blessing because although the amount of testosterone flowing around just dissapeared overnight i never learnt to deal with these boys on my own terms, boy to boy or man to man.

And therefor in life i have tended to challenge others and find i just get really more of the same that i go while at school.

Thats all changed now i think - finally!