To wear glasses or not wear glasses?

[andrew]

Queen

Because we have "issues to do with power and control" which sit on top of an underlying insecurity does it not follow we feel weak? and yet get confused by power and control?

If you are afraid of your strength then that *is* weakness.

A healer said to me "Andrew your strength is your gentleness". It was a new thought for me. I had been continually trying to be stronger and somehow fighting but failing in that. Efforting might be another word for this - a very topical theme in vision improvement you might already know?

So when faced with confrontation, i can ask myself your question "what strengths am i hiding from the world?".......well it could be my gentleness, my ability to yield, to support , to encourage, to find another way forwards that are diplomatic and tends to be a win win situation. It does not mean I role over and play dead but as an alternative to violence or shouting this way works better for me. I am not violent but can be....but it does not work for me....i always feel worse for strongly fighting with another person.

Another way of looking at this, is that when faced with powerful forces that are against me, I can be more accepting of "what is" - just like we see so many others doing without tearing myself to pieces in self hatred because i am not fighting back. Does that make sense?

And also if I am now happier to be amongst the powerful, I then have more humility, respect their power, feel more relaxed and can be happier to be more visible and dont have to hide inside because I know that I will not get into a situation where it is me against them and I have to retreat to feel comfortable. If you like, they embrace me and i accept that, but I dont see myself as equal to them in terms of power.

There is a quality about myopes that means they are immature. They have been hiding inside for so long that they have not grown up. Therefore it is suprising how many other people are powerful compared to the myope. If you can accept that then you can grow and become more powerful but you cannot grow if you imagine you have some kind of god given right to be able to autmaticaly be there and be powerful.

While it is true that we have treasures within i dont think we can feel secure in the World unless our basic underlying way of interacting with the world provides us with a continually encouraging and supporting message that we are doing it right and are in some manner winning rather than in some manner losing.

[andrew]

queen8 said:

You have written a lot about myopes and to me it seems like you're trying to define exactly what are the characteristics of a myope and thereby defining a group. How do you feel about being part of this group? Are you proud? I'm just wondering how you would feel if you focus more on how it is to be part of the group of people whose vision is normal (like Lizzy and Martin)?

It is a good point Queenie

The key for me has been to define what it is to be normal sighted. And you are right that the focus of thinking has to be further forwards with worry or uncertaintly less focused upon and instead just to see a world full of excitement and joy and endless possibilities

Importantly though i think the myope needs to realise how their own way of thinking holds them back from being successful, where the focus is on oneself to an excess. Otherwise when the treasure inside is revealed it is revealed in a distorted manner that is still expecting too much from others. A bit like a princess syndrome perhaps?

[queen8]

What is a princess syndrome?

"Another way of looking at this, is that when faced with powerful forces that are against me, I can be more accepting of "what is" - just like we see so many others doing without tearing myself to pieces in self hatred because i am not fighting back. Does that make sense?" - Yes, it does!

"There is a quality about myopes that means they are immature. They have been hiding inside for so long that they have not grown up." - I talk a lot with my "little girl inside" and I follow her as she grows up. It's a good way for me to cope with how I stopped growing at one point (well, at many points...) and work to align myself. There's a book about this by John Bradshaw, a title similar to "Liberate your inner child". If you're not familiar with this way of "growing up", I'd recommend it.

When it comes to weakness -strength, I'm tired and I have to wait to comment till my head is a bit more clear!

[andrew]

princess syndrome:

Well maybe many little girls want to be princesses at some point in their young lives? To make this part of their personality successfully they need to do it in an attractive manner so that others *want* to give them this attention and make them feel special. Many girls just grow out of it when they become more self aware/more self conscious perhaps? But maybe some dont? I am also thinking of movie stars for example? Paris Hilton? She gets plenty of attention!

OK. Remember that myopes see more "I" than "you" in the context of "we"?

The myopic way is to be slumped and somewhat energeticly inhibited and then when more alive and less depressed to *then* express ourselves in a way that in some manner is demanding attention or requires something from others that is demanding or expecting of them as if it were normal that this need be met, but which does not consider the needs of the other person in an equal manner. One aspect of this for example is talking about oneself because we have an inner unsatisfied need for attention and being "showy" but not having the skills to follow this thru so that we have relationships where there is that give and take. It is a me me me quality. Somehow the myope is shortsighted in developing longer term ways of getting attention and satisfying the inner need they have so that the need for attention is no different than anybody elses need. Meanwhile the myope tends to be energetically inhibited because there way is not successful in the longer term. Expansion contraction expansion contraction maybe.....or just more and more contraction into more and more myopia. Living like this the myope does not have a firm base to build their life and so remains insecure.

Paris for example had that naughty video released. This might have crushed a myope but she just faced it head on and it just increased the amount of attention she was getting. In a manner of speaking she is an interesting and attractive personality because faced with that difficult experience she survived. Or even created it herself to get the attention she wants.

The other aspect of the princess syndrome as i have experienced it personally with a myope is that this person cannot tolerate any guidance or any suggestion that maybe they could be more successful if they did things differently. Instead they react with hostility and just remain the same. Not changing is not all bad of course but the myope does need to learn and grow and find more successful ways of interacting in the world so that they feel more secure.

Yes. I suppose i began finding my inner child many years ago. And that is the funny thing about growing up i suppose? if you are an adult baby at 30 then all those missed stages that a baby takes 20 years to learn cannot really be hurried. I am now 50. I think i am now just finally getting to the stage where i am no longer the child learning but am getting to the point where i can be the teacher teaching sometimes. All of this could have been sped up had i found the right kind of teacher but it is the nature of myopia that we reject teachers and instead prefer to believe that we are right. It is a bit horrrible but true. There were for example teachers available for me when i was around 9 but i was ashamed of my love for them and feared it. I remember for example calling a teacher "dad" one day. The other children laugthed and this man was gentle and said "no it is ok. Many children call their teachers "dad". And yet i was ashamed of myself and withdrew from him. And unfortunately teachers are not skilled at dealing with this kind of relatively deep seated issue where life at home is a big factor too.

Sigh:-(

You might notice for example that i am tending to want attention here? wanting others to see me as somebody who has some answers for them? Well maybe i do have some answers and on the one hand it is a kind of giving, but it appears that a number of people here feel there is something inappropriate about the manner i am expressing myself - including maybe yourself?

It seems a fact that being a myope is problematic for both myope and observer. We need love but somehow dont get it as we want to get it.

After all, i am the prince or guru without an audience.

[queen8]

Dear Andrew,
somehow I feel I get to know you better now... Not that I really know you, but I know something about you from reading what you've written here. What is difficult, is to sort out what you really mean and what is my perception of what you write.

Some comments related to what I wrote earlier:
You wrote: "You might notice for example that i am tending to want attention here? wanting others to see me as somebody who has some answers for them? Well maybe i do have some answers and on the one hand it is a kind of giving, but it appears that a number of people here feel there is something inappropriate about the manner i am expressing myself - including maybe yourself?"
What is wrong about wanting attention?
What is wrong about wanting others to see you as someone who has some answers for them?
To answer your last question in this quote: I don't think it's something "inappropriate" about how you're expressing yourself. I get the feeling I'm talking to someone who desperately wants me to see what HE sees through his "glasses". Trying very hard to make comprehensible systems that he can teach to others. My problem is that I want to see things for myself, I want to discover the world and see it through my eyes, not your eyes. And sometimes I feel you're "discussing" with me, instead of chatting, and I'm drawing it to an extreme here, so that you can convince me or teach me. THen again, what is my perceptions interfering, and what is actually you?

This reminds me of a little child bewildered about something not-comprehensible for someone his/her age, trying to make order out of the chaos, trying to survive with a distorted image of the situation, knowing something is not right, but there is no adult there to explain or make things easier to understand. Then, when others try to explain what is going on, there is a gap between the child's understanding and what the others see, and it becomes impossible to accept the others' description of reality, hence a constant discussion or "fighting attitude". Have you ever experienced something like this? I have, so maybe I just get a picture of myself when reading your posts...

By the way, a wise person has told me that ususally, when there's something we really want to tell others, it's because we really need it ourselves. So if I listen to what I tell you, I may discover a message for myself, and if you listen to your own teaching, maybe there is your answers?!

But since you asked me if I feel something is inappropriate about your manner of expressing yourself, I'll tell you this:
The only thing I don't like about your descriptions, is the constant division between myopes and the rest. There are tons of other personalities, tons of other symptoms, and they're all intertwined. So when you talk about your experiences with other myopes and "blaim it" on the fact that they are nearsighted, I'm not always sure if that's the right explanation.

"After all, i am the prince or guru without an audience."
I think this is sad! I'm glad you talk about it, that you uncover your hidden treasures, though! It's good to get to know you better!

[andrew]

Queen

I said

"Somehow the myope is shortsighted in developing longer term ways of getting attention and satisfying the inner need they have so that the need for attention is no different than anybody elses need."

You said

"What is wrong about wanting attention?"

So you have changed what i have said.

I did not say there was anything wrong about wanting attention. It is just the manner or style of getting attention that is either successful for a person so that they feel secure and surrounded by love or does not work for them so that like the confused child you mention they dont feel secure

In the BMS system there is such a thing as the myopic personality and that is different to other personalities associated with different issues.

The important thing to see here is that as short sighted people we are shortsighted in the manner in which we seek/gain attention.

Also, if i might say so, we tend to transform what others say to us to confirm what we already believe. This is just part of the myopic personality. More "I" than "you" in the context of "we"

So if we make a practical example here, you seem to be offering me friendship and instead i have begun by saying "naughty girl you were not listening to me what a bad little girl you are! no wonder you are myopic"

Well maybe that was a bit shortsighted by me.

I am in reality a cute and cuddly kind of person and am happy to be friendly with you:-)

So thank you for your expression of love to me

Andrew

[queen8]

Sorry, but I have problems understanding this "discussion". I don't think that is because I am nearsighted, rather because "my thoughts are not with me" these days, which is an expression of my problems in other areas, I think.

Why do you believe that I change what you say, when I ask you a question using your own words?

To me, this becomes too far from my everyday experience, it's like a meteorologist (spelling?) explaining the theories behind how the weather changes, when a child is awed by the clouds, the sun and the winds. The meteorologist is not wrong, it's just the wrong audience for his explanations...

Hoping a wind of friendly love reaches you....

[andrew]

>>Why do you believe that I change what you say, when I ask you a question using your own words?

I do *not think* there is anything wrong in wanting attention. We all seem to have a need for attention. Those who feel secure are getting the attention they need.

From that we can therefore ask:

"if I feel insecure why am I not getting the attention I want?"

And

"Are there posative ways of getting attention and are their negative ways of getting attention?"

[april]

hi, andrew,queen,
I have been reading your dialogue and I hope you don't mind me joining you
I find that you are right when you say that myopes are looking for attention but in a way that stops them from getting it -or believing they don't.I think it's *because* they want it so much. Is it perhaps the fact that they are so focused on the way they would like to be noticed that stops them from realising they *are* getting attention, but in a different way?
I mean, and I talk for myself here, I have noticed how sometimes the definition I give to getting attention is different from the other persons definition for giving me attention, and if I am focusing on getting it the way I want it,I end up not seeing that I do in fact get it.
I think a lot of tension is created when we seek attention, not to mention the fact we may end up changing our behaviour in order to get it, and then feeling even more more stressed. I am making a guess here, but this efford to "control" things could be the reason the solar plexus is involved in impaired vision. And when we are actively after attention,maybe all the other person sees is somebody who is just..stressed out!! we are not letting our true beautiful, relaxed selves out! If we could just...be, not only would we feel less tensed but we would allow ourselves to notice all the ways in which others give us attention,even if they are different to what we would expect. And we would have such a better time,wouldn't we?

[andrew]

April

Well maybe the beautiful person inside the myope is a bit harder to find sometimes?

We are a bit like a hungry baby that needs their nappies changed. Until certain needs are met we are not so attractive in reality. Only mothers really love us when we are so unattractive.

And so in the real world we need to be more self sufficient and go feed ourselves and change our own nappies and then when spruced up and apparently not in need go out into the world as "cool" people and have fun and of course get the needs that we do have met, but if need drives us then as you say it all goes wrong. Its a bit like short termism and wishful thinking versus more far seeing more facts of life based thinking

In that sense it is easy to understand why many say that attention seeking is something bad.

I guess it depends on how skillfully you leave your house to go seek some attention.

For example a woman who exudes confidance and looks fit and healthy is going to get my attention pretty quickly!

And similarly a man who is successful and looks fit and healthy and confidant tends to get a womans attention sooner or later.

At the exstreme if we are desparate and crying out for attention then in this real world we are going to be pretty horribly unhappy. Been there. Done that.

Andrew

[dancingflame]

This is a polite request to PLEASE stop referring to people who are short-sighted as "myopes". It's the same as labelling people "diabetic" or "epileptic" which is what the medical profession does. These labels act as barriers to healing because they encourage ownership of a disease and a set of symptoms, and in order to get well we have to focus on wellness rather than on the thing we are trying to heal ourselves of.
Labels cause people to make assumptions and generalisations. Even the BMS doesn't fit in every situation.

With Love

[lizzy]

A label is a way of describing a reality. If the label is positive it may be a good thing to describe a reality in this way. If a label is limiting we can choose to let go of it and use different words with a different vibration to describe reality.

A label may lead us to information that is helpful inorder to let go of the label.

Healing, for me, in my reality, is like unwinding, unravelling layers of reality. Some may do this quickly, some slowly, some a mixture of the two. Some may unravel much in one life time, others in many lifetimes.

We all have labels. I am a Mother, a Step Mother, a Wife, a Friend, a Healer, a Sister, a Woman, a Business person, a Writer, an Artist, a Human being, an Energy, a Consciousness.....

If I feel really great about all of these then they are useful labels because I can converse with people on different levels of understanding. If I did not feel great about any of them then I may decide not to use them to describe my being.

Labels can help us make connections to others and communicate.

Lizzy.

[andrew]

I rather love the way the way the BMS describes *why* I have a particular symptom.

So in no manner do i really focus on the symptom, but rather the consciousness that maintains the dis-ease.

This is a BMS board and hopefully i am not stepping outside any limits that being on a BMS board demands of us.

In the BMS you look up your symptom and then identify the tensions in your consciousness that cause and maintain that dis-ease.

Now we are all unique and my obsession/interest/hobby/mission has been to define as precisely as i can the kinds of tensions and visual styles that are associated with the consciousness leading to the various vision dis-eases

As Martin would say we are all free to have whatever tensions we want in our consciousness and nobody need agree with any thing i say here. However for those who might believe that their consciousness does maintain their dis-ease i believe that with love i am offering a path to lead you from that dis-ease

[eromeo]

I've been reading all the posts at the site for a few weeks now, and I agree with you, Dancing Flame. Andrew's "myopes" label has to go.

I'm not nearsighted or farsighted myself but I have friends who are, and the ones I've talked to about this - the ones who are also in agreement about the Body Mirror System - all agree that they hardly think of themselves as "myopes". This is a very negative label, it just sounds limiting, as if that's all the person is, as if that's their identity. A lot of people who are not near or far sighted have the same behavior patterns as people who are, it just manifests in a different way. To label yourself as a "myope", Andrew, only serves to keep you in that limited frame of consciousness.

[eromeo]

I realize that the "myopes" you speak of, Andrew, are the ones who are near-sighted, not far-sighted. I just included both groups for the sake of the post.