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Post by queen on Jun 9, 2006 19:38:35 GMT 1
I'm so angry, like I'm filled with anger, ready to explode and not knowing how to let it out in a "responsible" way.
"I have to protect myself", that's what I feel. There's the feeling "No-one else looks after me" and so I have to withdraw: since noone else sees my view and believes in me, I have to make this shield of protection towards the world. Why isn't there someone older and wiser to protect me and explain to me what is happening?
What I've written now is what comes up now, I understand these feelings to be old feelings that are now becoming visible to me, before leaving me. I've always had a hard time understanding when you write about nearsighted people that we don't see others, as I've interpreted it as something negative. Yes, it's negative, but at the time, in the situation when I was ten, maybe it seemed to me then to be my only choice to survive (better with glasses and continue to live, than lose the entire life!). In that situation no-one else saw me, met me, understood me and I felt lost and alone. And I thought I should have been able to handle it, but I wasn't. MAybe, if the people around me HAD seen, they could have told me that it was natural for me as a not grown-up to not understand what was going on?
I know I'm not writing this in a clear way for others to understand. I just need to try to express something, and I'm not sure what it is.
Someone stepped on my glasses today, they're "twisted" and I can't wear them. Ok, I'm forced to face this, I want to , but I'm scared!!! The anger started when I discovered I couldn't wear my glasses!
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Post by Martin Brofman on Jun 9, 2006 21:58:37 GMT 1
The world has looked to you like a threatening place - and your response has been to retreat inside. Your perception of the world will change as your eyesight changes - and vice-versa.
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Post by Angeleyes on Jul 10, 2006 15:42:12 GMT 1
When I look at how others see me I don't think they're too impressed. I tend to talk a lot to make more of an effort than may be necessary to disguise feeling inadequate. Someone close to me points out a lot that of course I would have to have the answer. I feel I need to make my point a lot because I feel I'm not being listened to or others aren't getting it. I know this needs to change because I'm not being myself with others. I know its more important that I listen to myself. Is there a way I can bring it to my own attention quickly if I start to do this again? I also don't like the me that I think others get to see. And by showing this part of me I feel I and others are missing out on the person I really am.
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Post by Martin Brofman on Jul 10, 2006 20:13:23 GMT 1
Do not bother to seek acceptance from others. Just be who you are. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and you can just look around to see who is on your side - and just do not bother with the others. That way, your attention will be on those who appreciate your way of being.
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Post by Maria on Jul 10, 2006 20:35:57 GMT 1
Thanks Martin!!!! Another perfect message and just the right time Peace, Maria
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Post by Angeleyes on Jul 10, 2006 20:42:09 GMT 1
Okay, have I got this right, it's helpful to see how others may see me but not to bother seeking their acceptance. They're entitled to their opinion as I am entitled to mine. I suppose I'm gunked when I see how others see me and then I've tried for approval. What you're saying is it may be useful to observe how they see me but that's all. It doesn't require for me to change in any way. Am I getting this? Alice
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Post by andrew on Jul 10, 2006 20:49:40 GMT 1
Alice
If you want relationships with others then what others think about you is relevant to you.
You will tend to see the view of yourself from the inside looking out. The other people see you from the outside looking in.
If you only take your own view then you miss aspects of the total view of you.
However when all said and done you dont need to change for any other person or dance to their tune at all.
Sometimes though it can be useful to know what others need from you so that you can dance with them......that makes life more fun!
Andrew
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Post by Martin Brofman on Jul 10, 2006 21:22:35 GMT 1
You are right, Alice, and so is Andrew.
The view from the outside can be useful to have, but there is no need for you to change yourself, or to hold yourself back from being who you are, as you have been doing until now.
If you did not have to concern yourself about fitting in, or care about how others see you, what would you do? How would you act?
Do it, and trust your trip.
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Post by andrew on Jul 11, 2006 8:01:06 GMT 1
There is an aspect to this that is confusing me.
It appears that myopes are self preoccupied or focus excessively on their own experience. They see more "I" than "you" in the context of "we".
Therefore it seems to me that when they do decide to do their 'thing' they do this with the above distortion built in. This means that they bring the control issues into play and can unreasonable expect others to alter their behaviour so that their trip goes ahead as expected.
This distortion then leads to limited success in action and then creates insecurity.
So.....myopes are not only limiting their possibilities due to the root chakra insecurity but are also incorrectly expecting to have more control of what is not theirs to control.
Is this something that needs to be considered when we consider what we really want to do?
I can see that what we really really want to do may be related to a healing experience that we have some need of.......but meanwhile it seems that what we often end up doing is only projecting the myopic personality further outwards rather than altering it.
Am i misunderstanding something here?
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Post by Martin Brofman on Jul 11, 2006 9:33:23 GMT 1
We can say that myopes, seeing through the filter of insecurity or fear, are making decisions based on that. "I am afraid, therefore...." There is a sense of hiding inside, with fear of being judged. "If I do what I really want to do, something bad will happen."
If myopes make a decision to not have their lives ruled by insecurity or fear, they can decide that whenever they find themselves making a decision based on fear, that is not a good enough motivation, and they can choose instead to make their decisions based on conscious choices.
"When I do what I really want to do, something wonderful always happens."
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Post by andrew on Jul 11, 2006 11:27:40 GMT 1
Thanks for your answer Martin
>>If you did not have to concern yourself about fitting in, or care about how others see you, what would you do? How would you act?
I can relate to this, but not in a posative sense.
My older brother and I for example both had obsessive hobbies where we did not "concern ourselves as to how others saw us."
Both of us seemed to devote our entire lives to these pursuits. Namely cave diving and gliding.
Meanwhile our partners were left alone most weekends.
>>you can just look around to see who is on your side - and just do not bother with the others. That way, your attention will be on those who appreciate your way of being.
I was appreciated at the gliding club, and also appreciated at home - when i was there - but somehow the balance was wrong. I was too selfish.
It seemed to me that i could live like this by being blind to what my partner was saying.
In myopia I am wondering how the distortions in the solar plexus chakra issue come in?
I can see the part where I should own my power. See that I am free.
But is there not also a part in myopia where power is distorted from the point of view of "I"?
Eg "i" am important.....so "I" am going to do this. Yes it upsets "You", but "I" has a need to do things his own way without interference, "you" are not considered by "I" as that important in the context of "we". "I" needs to come first.
Is that part of myopia?
I can also see that had my brother and I both got more desirable/suitable partners we might both have spent less time in hobbies, but this seems to me to lack responsibility in creating good relationships via our own actions and instead expects others to be doing something for us in some manner. More "i" than "you" in "we" again.
I am inclined to think that rather than my partner not being fully desirable or suitable it was my own actions that were creating my reality.
She would often say "you dont listen to anything i say!". An exaggeration but with hindsight and more clarity i believe she was right and i was wrong.
So there seems a pattern here in myopia where we are attempting to expand outwards and we are ignoring what others say about us, but the "I" orientated manner creates difficulties and results in lack of confidance or insecurity.
So in this context we do, it appears to me anyway, need to listen to what others are saying about us and attempt to incorporate that somehow into our life and therefore modify our "I" desires to some degree.
Andrew
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Post by Martin Brofman on Jul 12, 2006 7:47:42 GMT 1
>>>>If you did not have to concern yourself about fitting in, or care about how others see you, what would you do? How would you act? >>>I can relate to this, but not in a posative sense. My older brother and I for example both had obsessive hobbies where we did not "concern ourselves as to how others saw us." Both of us seemed to devote our entire lives to these pursuits. Namely cave diving and gliding. Meanwhile our partners were left alone most weekends.
Sounds like you really didn’t want to be with your partners, and might have considered doing something about it. The pattern is common in unhappy relationships.
>>>>>you can just look around to see who is on your side - and just do not bother with the others. That way, your attention will be on those who appreciate your way of being. >>>I was appreciated at the gliding club, and also appreciated at home - when i was there - but somehow the balance was wrong. I was too selfish. It seemed to me that i could live like this by being blind to what my partner was saying.
So the truth is about not really having felt connected with your partner. Good that you see you had not been listening to your partner, and that this was inappropriate behavior – and then the next question would be about whether you were really hapy with that partner or not, if you were looking at your truth.
>>>In myopia I am wondering how the distortions in the solar plexus chakra issue come in? >>>I can see the part where I should own my power. See that I am free.
Free to be with your partner or not – depending on whether you are happy in that movie.
>>>But is there not also a part in myopia where power is distorted from the point of view of "I"? Eg "i" am important.....so "I" am going to do this. Yes it upsets "You", but "I" has a need to do things his own way without interference, "you" are not considered by "I" as that important in the context of "we". "I" needs to come first. Is that part of myopia?
Yes.
>>>I can also see that had my brother and I both got more desirable/suitable partners we might both have spent less time in hobbies, but this seems to me to lack responsibility in creating good relationships via our own actions and instead expects others to be doing something for us in some manner. More "i" than "you" in "we" again.
Here you acknowledge that consider that your partners were not desirable, nor suitable. They matched with your closed crown chakra, giving yourself reasons to stay in an alone space with cave diving and gliding. The cave diving was a metaphor for diving into your own cave.
>>>I am inclined to think that rather than my partner not being fully desirable or suitable it was my own actions that were creating my reality.
Yes – because that was the partner that you had chosen. You next had to look at whether you and your partner were actually compatable, and to choose whether to stay in that situation or do something to change it.
>>>She would often say "you dont listen to anything i say!". An exaggeration but with hindsight and more clarity i believe she was right and i was wrong.
Yes – you were in your cave.
>>>So there seems a pattern here in myopia where we are attempting to expand outwards and we are ignoring what others say about us, but the "I" orientated manner creates difficulties and results in lack of confidance or insecurity.
In retrospect, you can see that it would have been good to really pay attention to the feedback, the view from the outside, but at the time that was not an easy thing for you to do.
>>>So in this context we do, it appears to me anyway, need to listen to what others are saying about us and attempt to incorporate that somehow into our life and therefore modify our "I" desires to some degree.
It is good to at least accept their point of view – accepting that this is the way they see it – and then use that information to make clear decisions. The bottom line, though, is being happy, and seeing what needs to happen to achieve that. To see if it is possible for you to find a way to be happy with your partner, if there is a way to do that.
If you decide to change something in you, it must be because you see honestly that there is something in you that needs to change – and then seeing yourself with compassion, knowing that you do not need to be like that any longer. You then have repented, and you begin a new way of being, in that moment of change.
“Repent – and you will be saved.”
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Post by mariaeleni on Jul 13, 2006 10:19:33 GMT 1
hello, I would like to comment on not wearing glasses. In my case, suddernly wearing contact lenses or glassses made me feel really uncomfortable. I thought my glasses were too strong, so I decided to wear weaker glasses. So for some time now I have forgotten what clarity means, but thats ok because wearing glasses according to my prescription makes me feel dizzy. When I am not wearing glasses at all, which I do, a lot, I may see very few things but feel sooo much better, so much more relaxed. Would you say this is not good for me? <of course one could say that I feel relaxed because I dont see what is causing me "fear", but it's not only that> After a while I got tested and my myopia was 4.25 instead of 5, or 4.75 that where the previous results -yet who knows, maybe THEY were wrong , thats why the glasses felt too strong. and now, when I'm not wearing glasses at all, I experience moments of something like clarity but if I blink or change my focus it goes away. But suddenly I can read a sign so far away I'm amazed, and then it goes away, unless I don't "change" my focus which I must, because after a while my eyes feel sore. It feels good not wearing glasses. Except the fact that I've almost forgotten what clarity is like...! What do you think? And one last question: Do you think that If someone who suddenly becomes myopic because he is afraid of certain things wears glasses, he is somehow "forcing" himself to see, which is something he chose not to-that's why he became myopic- ? so, since he doesn't want to see, his myopia should be increased... and then he must get new glasses, and then increase the myopia again?I hope you understand my question.!!!! thanks
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Post by mariaeleni on Jul 13, 2006 10:53:28 GMT 1
And if I may add something.. I too think that when somebody is afraid of what others may say it is a bit confusing trying to include "you" in the "we". It is perhaps because so many times in the past I accepted everything the other person said about me<negative things>, and felt fear, rejection and shame and tried to please him..making things so hard for me. I think sometimes people judge the weak, insecure part we project, or our defenses, and it's hard to seperate that part of ourselves-which exists, yes- from our true selves that most of the time we hide, because we're afraid we might get hurt. Also, sometimes, when we are not feeling appreciated by others, don't we become selective and listen only to the negative comments about us? We are on the lookout for signs of rejection. I know I am sometimes.<although, this means that when I am with someone I think of myself all the time-will "I" be accepted? will "I" be rejected?... and I end up not including him in the "we"> I think that's why including "you" in the "we" is tricky.... It seems so hard.
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Post by Martin Brofman on Jul 13, 2006 12:35:49 GMT 1
I would say that not wearing glasses seems to be resulting in you seeing more and more clearly, which is my understanding of why your test results keep improving. It's also good that you experience flashes of clear vision. It sounds as though you have been successful at releasing the tensions that had created the vision problems.
For your second question, it is indeed common that people continue to see their vision deteriorate when they do not release the cause.
"I" and "You" just have to be balanced, and it is not necessary to fear the opinions of others, but rather to understand that everyone is entitled to their opinion, and that's the way it is. We do have the coice of who we want to be around.
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