maiwa
Full Member
Posts: 196
|
Post by maiwa on Jan 10, 2009 18:52:30 GMT 1
Uff... big challenge... Since I had to go to the eye-doctor every year as a child I always felt pressure. I always felt that "I have to be good", I put pressure on myself and I always felt worse when the eyes got worse. It was a vicious circle. Now I understand that clarity is my natural state of mind and that I don´t have to feel like that. Even I can act differently. It can be different, if only I allow myself that it is different now. When I meditated I saw this anxious child within myself which prefers to hide. Realised that I still give myself reasons why it is better to not see clear instead of seeing clear. I understand that I put a wall around myself and I can see this wall clearly and I know why it is there. I also see this wonderful being behind the wall. I want this being to be present at the same time I do something to keep this wall. This struggle is exhausting. I try to encourage myself to stay positive and simply to fill myself myself with white life not giving energy to the struggle, only acknowledging that it is there. Maybe I also need more acceptance of what is. I think I haven´t yet emotionally accepted that there is wall within myself.
|
|
|
Post by Angeleyes on Sept 30, 2009 11:48:40 GMT 1
Hello Maiwa, I was reading over this post and I wondered, have you noticed any improvement in your vision since you last posted here?
|
|
maiwa
Full Member
Posts: 196
|
Post by maiwa on Jan 2, 2010 14:29:14 GMT 1
Hey Angeleyes, thanks for your question! Just logged in to write something new and I found your message! On the physical level: the normal "expected" changes. Still have flashes of clarity then it disappears again. Todays progress: For the first time i see the myopia as "bad cirsumstances", like driving while it is foggy outside. That means also for the first time I can see it as something that will NATURALLY change - fog never stays forever. That allows me to feel much lighter and more relaxed in the present moment. More at ease. No more fighting ("I have to get rid of it"). Very simple. And I don´t see myself as "not ok" anymore (because being nearsighted was not ok, therefore I was not ok.) So I am ok, just having a journey through fog. So I am looking foward of what will happen now.
|
|
|
Post by Martin Brofman on Jan 2, 2010 18:33:31 GMT 1
Yes - and the fog does not mean that there is something wrong with your eyes - just that you have something on your mind, and when that clears, your vision will return to its naturally clear state.
After all, with flashes of clarity, it means your eyes are okay and that behind the stress, you can see clearly.
|
|
maiwa
Full Member
Posts: 196
|
Post by maiwa on Mar 12, 2010 15:15:25 GMT 1
After a strong healing I´ve received two days ago I realised that seeing clearly on a physical level really scares me to death.
|
|
|
Post by Martin Brofman on Mar 16, 2010 8:52:24 GMT 1
What is it that you are afraid of, and why?
|
|
maiwa
Full Member
Posts: 196
|
Post by maiwa on Mar 16, 2010 15:37:35 GMT 1
I am afraid of my own death. Not being here on earth anymore.
|
|
|
Post by Martin Brofman on Mar 16, 2010 16:20:42 GMT 1
Most people feel the same - but what does that have to do with seeing clearly?
What is it about seeing clearly that has you frightened?
|
|
maiwa
Full Member
Posts: 196
|
Post by maiwa on Mar 16, 2010 16:46:56 GMT 1
Not sure yet. Something had in the past. Guess something around that time the sympton started, as a child.
|
|
|
Post by Martin Brofman on Mar 17, 2010 7:28:47 GMT 1
I would say that at the time there was something you were afraid of, and that the fear has stayed inside you, coming to the surface at times. It's not a fear of seeing clearly, it's just fear.
Step through it, and go for clarity.
|
|
maiwa
Full Member
Posts: 196
|
Post by maiwa on Mar 18, 2010 18:20:30 GMT 1
Thanks Martin. That talks to me.
|
|
maiwa
Full Member
Posts: 196
|
Post by maiwa on Jun 26, 2010 8:43:18 GMT 1
Today not seeing clearly seems like a revenge towards others: "I will never look at you again." "If you don´t want me I don´t want you." I seems that I choosed myopia to escape from a difficult conflict I couldn´t sort out in another way.
|
|
maiwa
Full Member
Posts: 196
|
Post by maiwa on Jun 27, 2010 18:13:29 GMT 1
How can´t I be affected by the judgements of others?
What is an appropiate response? How to take action?
How can I still see them with compassion after being hurt or judged?
How can I see the love?
So much anger within me.
|
|
|
Post by Martin Brofman on Jun 29, 2010 16:08:29 GMT 1
> How can´t I be affected by the judgements of others? They are entitled to their opinion, and you are free to be around those people with whom you feel comfortable. > What is an appropiate response? See them with compassion. > How to take action? Decide that they are seeing you from the outside and misunderstanding you, measuring you by their standards. You know the view from the inside. If there is an opening for communication, you can state where you are coming from. Otherwise, just let it go. When you accept yourself, you will not need to search for the approval of others. > How can I still see them with compassion after being hurt or judged? They are just ignorant. Ignorance is not a crime - though it is also no great honor. Focus on the Acceptance symbol at www.healer.ch/acceptance and see what it means to you. > How can I see the love? Insist on seeing each situation as showing people motivated by love, and sometimes reacting to the perception that it is not there. > So much anger within me. So much love also. See how you have been reacting to the perception that you are not loved. Replay the situation as if you know the love is there, and see the actions of others as an expression of love.
|
|
maiwa
Full Member
Posts: 196
|
Post by maiwa on Jul 3, 2010 18:58:48 GMT 1
thanks, Martin.
I have flashes of clearer vision.
"they are seeing you from the outside and misunderstanding you, measuring you by their standards." I feel that this is part of the pressure I feel and a reason for the anger I feel. I feel tensions in the solarplexus, tensions in the chest and in my face. I see how I did everything to fit into the society and to be somehow invisible. I remember how much I enjoyed it to fail in school when I was about 14, 15, 16 years old. I didn´t want to be good in some subjects, I wanted to show some teachers that they don´t get me. I still have this inner conflict: Rules, standards versus owning my power, being free. Not in all areas of my life but in the area of relationships and sexuality. Following the rules means being loved and accepted - breaking the rules means (at the moment) loosing love and support from others.
|
|