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Post by Giovanni on Nov 16, 2005 23:01:39 GMT 1
Dear Martin, I’m improving my distant vision using your method. I’m fascinated by your books. I’m 33 and live with my wife with whom I’m very happy but I feel a great sense of separation from my parents even if they live in the apartament above. The relationship with my mother has been especially tense in the past because she suffers of a sort of paranoia with great depressive crisis and I myself tend to suffer of depression too. I have had problems with what you consider related to the mother: feeling safe in the world, feeling with solid roots, and finding a good job. Actually the situation of lack of communication between me and my mother makes me feel sad, but if I think about all the fights I had with her in the past I believe I can live much more peacefully If I stay far from her. Now, speaking about improving distant vision, could you please give some suggestions about how to address this situation? Thanks a lot Giovanni
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Post by Martin Brofman on Nov 17, 2005 7:05:54 GMT 1
Getting rid of the filter of fear is part of it. Another is not being afraid of being judged. Let yourself be visible, and trust that it's a friendly world that wants you to just "come out" and be who you really are.
...and own your power. Depression comes when you are in an unhappy situation with the feeling of not being able to do something about it.
...and if you want communication, start communicating, instead of waiting for her to do so. Let her know you love her, and realize that she is seeing her world through a filter of fear and insecurity, and you do not have to be at the effect of that.
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Post by Giovanni on Nov 17, 2005 20:15:19 GMT 1
Thanks a lot for your helpful suggestions Martin. I certainly need to own my power more and more. I have read in your book "anything can be healed" that our eyesight is related to the yellow chakra and that means that it is related with aspects of our consciousness such as the sense of power and the sense of freedom. You also speak about "control" but I dindn't understend very well what you mean when you say that acceptance is a means to release the control. Is the "control" a negative aspect? Giovanni
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Post by Martin Brofman on Nov 17, 2005 22:23:10 GMT 1
Is the control a negative aspect?
Not as long as you can use it when it is appropriate, and let go of it when it is not. Certain jobs require control, the style of which is always up to the individual - and then off the job, when the control is no longer necessary, they can get back to ease of being, and a sense of freedom, which is real power.
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Post by Michael on Nov 18, 2005 10:02:21 GMT 1
Hey Martin,
You said that blurry vision is related to having the fear of being judged. I think I read that in your book but I'm not sure. Anyways, now I know that that's contributing to my near-sightedness.
I had to get glasses in the 2nd grade, and one event from the 1st grade sticks out in my mind. I was asking the teacher something at her desk about something I didn't understand or something like that. And she basically just explained to me that I was wrong, or how I was wrong I guess. And I felt like everyone was watching me, listening to what the teacher was telling me, and judging me.
I was so afraid. It's like I could feel them all looking at me. Watching me mess up. Now that I think about it, the fear is a lot deeper than it seemed way back then. Anyways, I started crying and hugged the teacher. It's funny now that I think about it. Fortunately, she was a very sweet woman, and it was easy for me to turn to her like that.
I don't think the other kids were looking at me, probably not even half of them were looking at me. Rather, it was just my imagination.
Oh yeah, I also used to be afraid of paintings and big pictures of people. I would have nightmares about the pictures watching me and coming alive coming after me. One of them actually involved a picture of myself.
Would all this be the reason for my near-sightedness, or was I just one messed up little boy? LoL
Thanks, Michael
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Post by Martin Brofman on Nov 18, 2005 10:31:02 GMT 1
The scene you described could easily fit the profile.
Sounds to me like you are spot-on.
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Post by Michael on Nov 22, 2005 9:15:57 GMT 1
Well I'm glad that I know the cause now. All I have to do now is change my beliefs and attitude. How would you go about getting rid of fear of people judging you? I think you said that it is important to find acceptance there instead of judgement, but what if they are in fact judging you? Ya know, I'm starting to wonder why I should even care if people judge me or not right now as I write this. It's like I don't care for a second or 2, then the old way of thinking comes back and I care again. Guess it's just me not holding on to the new reality. By the way I loved what you said about depression. How it's only the perception that you have no control over life. This is such a great piece of wisdom. Thank you so much for all the knowledge and wisdom you've shared with everyone. You have helped me so much personally just by writing your books, not to mention how you've helped me directly on this message board. You certainly are racking up the dharma . Thanks again. Michael P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND THANKSGIVING!! I dunno if you celebrate Thanksgiving or not but happy Thanksgiving anyways LoL.
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Post by Martin Brofman on Nov 22, 2005 13:11:10 GMT 1
"How would you go about getting rid of fear of people judging you? I think you said that it is important to find acceptance there instead of judgement, but what if they are in fact judging you?"
You can choose to not care. Everyone is entitled to her/her opinion.
"Ya know, I'm starting to wonder why I should even care if people judge me or not right now as I write this. It's like I don't care for a second or 2, then the old way of thinking comes back and I care again. Guess it's just me not holding on to the new reality."
Exactly.
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Post by Bellamia on Nov 22, 2005 15:27:36 GMT 1
Michael. Martin's right; and it doesn't matter what others think of you, it only matters what you think of yourself. THINK BIG, THINK O.K, THINK CAN-DO, THINK POSITIVE! Happy Thanksgiving, Namaste, Bella
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Post by Maria on Nov 22, 2005 15:31:19 GMT 1
Hi Michael,
One of the ways you can start to change a belief is to make a point of noticing when you feel that way. With the issue of caring if people judge you, spend the next few weeks just being aware of when that happens. You may find that certain situations or people spark that reaction in you more than others. You can then use that data to begin to change your attitude. For instance, you can play different scenes in your head, changing the outcome to the one you desire. You can also choose to react differently when faced with these situations, congratulating yourself for every small achievement.
And as Martin said, "Everyone is intitled ot his/her opinion." And yes, some people will judge you. But that's their issue - it can't affect you at all unless you let it.
Peace,
Maria
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Post by Michael on Nov 25, 2005 8:17:36 GMT 1
Hey guys, I just got back from outta state for Thanksgiving, so that's why I'm just now replying if you were curious I totally agree with what y'all said. I've been trying to just accept that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's still hard though. I don't know why I'm even afraid of being judged by people. It doesn't help that my brother is too quick to judge people and other things. I've even told him that he is. I'm actually suprised that I told him that. He's always been sensitive about constructive criticism. I guess he's changed, because he didn't get mad when I told him he is too quick to judge. Anyways, I have to get off here. I'll write more when I come back. Thanks guys! Michael
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Post by Michael on Nov 25, 2005 13:03:43 GMT 1
Okay I'm back, had an emergency. Maria, I agree with what you said about noticing when it happens. That is still a problem for me at the moment, because I have not yet developed my brow chakra well enough to remain detached so that I can step outside of myself to see when it is happening. I am making progress though. Every now and then I feel these pressures and sensations in my head, especially around the crown and brow chakra areas. And yes, I do care more about what certain people think of me than others. I experienced this for the past 2 days at my aunt and uncle's house. For some reason I've always kept from being myself around them. This includes their daughter, my cousin. She's very outgoing and loud, whatever you wanna call it. I guess it just intimidates me. But that's not the only reason I stay quiet around them. I've also noticed recently that I act differently around certain people. It's like I fall into their perception of who they think I am. I hate this. I find myself doing things out of character also. Like I'll happen to mess something up or break something around one certain friend and his family. Or I'll act stupid around another friend even when I don't want to. I'm tired of being how other people believe I am. I guess this involves the Yellow Chakra? I really don't know. All I know right now is that I'm confused and that I dunno squat. I'm just going to try to relax more. That can be my first goal, I reckon. Not much of a goal huh LoL. I think it was you, Bella, who told me to take things one step at a time earlier in another thread. I wish I would've listened to that then instead of beating myself up for jumping into things too fast and failing. Oh well, happy Thanksgiving to you as well Peace, Michael
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Post by Angeleyes on Nov 25, 2005 13:36:16 GMT 1
Hi Michael, I read your post and thought wao! youv'e done a lot, in only a few days you noticed you care what your aunt and uncle think, that you behave differently around your cousin and them, that you break things around a friend and act, in your words, "foolishly" around another friend. This is something you say you've been doing for years without noticing, then as soon as you decide to start noticing all these different situations come up and you think you're wrong for going too fast. I'd say it's a gift that you're so observant. Now its just a matter of anything can be healed you just may not know how to do it yet, but that's ok, you've got the back up of this site for that. And look how quickly things have happened when you decide to do something. As for relaxing I'd say it's about the best goal anyone could have, if we all made relaxing our number one goal, we may all be healed already! I know it's good to express when you feel things have taken a turn for the worse and good on you for doing that! I find it's also good to be realistic and honestly look at what you've achieved and then if things need to be improved decide on your new reality and go from there. Now I'll read back to myself the words I wrote to you. Anything can be healed & you can do it!
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Post by Michael on Nov 26, 2005 8:24:19 GMT 1
I guess I never thought my observations were much of an accomplishment until you mentioned it. Thank you for letting me realize this, Alice. I've always been hard on myself ever since I can remember. I don't know where the attitude came from. No one ever told me I wasn't good enough or anything like that when I was young. Maybe it's from a past life. Nevertheless, I have to start rewarding myself. Thank you for your words
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Post by Martin Brofman on Nov 30, 2005 11:14:28 GMT 1
...and play the star in your movie, rather than the character in the movie of those around you. That way, you will not be at the effect of their perceptions. Continue to remind yourself of who you are, so that you can show that Being through your actions, and then others can change their perceptions of you.
You should also know that this is an important issue for anyone going through a healing and/or transformative process, when others around them continue to hold the perception of the symptom or the "old" person, and then there is the need to re-assert the new, healed person.
Sometimes, I have found it necessary to just be around those who held a positive picture of me, so that I did not have to deal with the negative perceptions of others, until I was more solid in my new movie.
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