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Post by spiritgirl on Apr 5, 2011 13:54:08 GMT 1
HI Martin
I have another question about control. In this thread previously I have talked about being angry at my parents and resentful of their behavior towards me. Is this control on my part?
SG
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Post by spiritgirl on Apr 11, 2011 4:42:59 GMT 1
HI Martin I have been reading this thread again and thinking about control and I have come to the conclusion that yes, indeed, I have been trying to control my parents - in the sense that I want them to be different from who they are now. I want them to be nicer, kinder, happier and more positive. So to answer my own previous questions - I have been controlling of them! And ofcourse it has got me nowhere except frustration and symptoms in my own body. I knew intellectually I was being controlling but before you answered my previous question (regarding friendships and control) I could not see just in what way I was being controlling!!!! I guess also I did not want to let go of the control because it felt too unbearable to do that - as if I would forever lose out on something important to me. Holding on to control gave me a sense of somehow getting what I dearly want one day in the future. I think what helped in letting go of control is knowing the fact that I am free to go for my happiness and my dreams no matter how other people are. That I have the power within me. If I let go of control but don't acknowledge my freedom then life seems unbearable. I also realize that my stomach has been feeling very good over the past several weeks - I had gotten used to a low-level feeling of nausea, sickly feeling in my stomach on and off for years and years. Its not clenched so tight any more. I am very happy about this I wonder if you have any thoughts about what I've written. Sg
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Post by Martin Brofman on Apr 11, 2011 16:55:38 GMT 1
Letting go of control and opening to freedom and acceptance allows you to move your attention from the solar plexus chakra to your heart chakra - thus allowing you to feel more love in your life.
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Post by spiritgirl on Apr 12, 2011 1:46:24 GMT 1
HI Martin
Thank you for your feedback. I look forward to feeling more love in my life. I'm already happier because of the lighter feeling in my stomach.
I also want to clarify in more detail another thing: control is when I am deciding what other people should be doing/thinking/feeling. But is this the perception that triggers my "actual" anger or it could be a combination of things? And what about powerlessness - is that also triggered by need to control?
Thanks
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Post by Martin Brofman on Apr 12, 2011 5:59:32 GMT 1
> control is when I am deciding what other people should be doing/thinking/feeling.
Yes.
> But is this the perception that triggers my "actual" anger or it could be a combination of things?
I would say that it is indeed this perception that triggers the anger.
> And what about powerlessness - is that also triggered by need to control?
No - it is the feeling of not being "able" to do something - perhaps in a situation in which you are not happy. Power is "I can." Powerlessness is "I can't."
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Post by spiritgirl on Apr 12, 2011 19:28:13 GMT 1
HI Martin Thank you so much for your answers - its pure gold I know you have said the same thing on this forum and articles before but I am understanding this in a more personalized and deeper way before. And another good side effect that I am having (when I let go of control) is that my mind feels more peaceful. It used to be more full of thoughts - a lot about what others did and should have done or should be doing. I also want to ask the same question related to root chakra (since it affects the myopic personality): What is the perception that triggers anxiety/fear? Or is it a combination of things? SG
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Post by Martin Brofman on Apr 13, 2011 8:23:42 GMT 1
It is what was happening at the time the myopia began that you responded to with insecurity and fear, creating a belief that you have lived at the effect of since then. ou just need to change your mind and have more confidence in a positive future.
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Post by spiritgirl on Apr 22, 2011 0:08:07 GMT 1
HI Martin What would be the nature of "complaining"? In other words is this a form of control or just something that encourages powerlessness? Or just a form of "not accepting what is"? Also what exactly is helplessness and is it related to powerlessness? My stomach just seems to be doing great these days and I know, without a doubt, that it is due to letting go of control (mentally) and not a change of diet or excercise in any way whatsoever!! I just want to keep getting even more clearer regarding the solar plexus and root chakra issues. Regarding your previous answer about fear/insecurity - I am still figuring that one out Thank you
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Post by Martin Brofman on Apr 22, 2011 6:34:37 GMT 1
About the fear - it is about not feeling safe to show what is happening inside you - possibly for fear it would be judged. Not feeling safe.
Complaining - it might be justified, and I would say that it is a right you have to express what is good for you and what is not - and you can also look at it as a kind of judgement. Judging something as not good. Okay to express what is not good for you - but to spend your time complaining about what is not good in general, or not good for others, is about being stuck in judging.
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Post by spiritgirl on Apr 22, 2011 14:13:11 GMT 1
Hello Martin About the fear - it is about not feeling safe to show what is happening inside you - possibly for fear it would be judged. Not feeling safe.
I am puzzled by "what is happening inside you". Does this mean my thoughts and feelings, my dreams, hopes, and desires in my mind? Its a lot easier to keep these things to myself otherwise some people like to discourage me and control me and yes even judge me! I guess I don't have a strong will and get discouraged easily and think the worst case scenarios if I listen to other people!! Am I on the right track - would this be my problem? Thank you.
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Post by Martin Brofman on Apr 23, 2011 7:18:19 GMT 1
This could be a likely candidate. It would fit the profile.
See how this could make sense in terms of what was happening in your life when you began to not see clearly.
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Post by spiritgirl on Apr 25, 2011 14:24:55 GMT 1
Hello Martin Thank you for the above feedback and am thinking and pondering it and how it all fits in together. I have another question regarding the solar plexus : Is there a basic difference between rage and anger in your opinion? I feel for myself that my rage issue may be different from my anger issues ( which I have resolved now due to letting go of control). Maybe my rage also has to do with not being able to do something about my enforced isolation when I was a kid. I remembered being enraged at around age 7-8 altho it could have started even earlier (at home tho not at school I think). Also my rage seems like a deep fury and it even scares me sometimes because I feel I don't know where it comes from Thank you
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Post by Martin Brofman on Apr 26, 2011 6:53:13 GMT 1
I would equate the two, rage and anger, and just consider them as representing different degrees of intensity.
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Post by spiritgirl on May 23, 2011 20:09:05 GMT 1
HI Martin
Is "sadness" a Solar Plexus issue or Heart Chakra? I feel it as some sort of heavyness in my chest area when I think of how things could have been (better). It could also be about control because its in relation to other people's behavior.
I would like clarification on this please. Thanks
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Post by Martin Brofman on May 24, 2011 9:05:24 GMT 1
If you feel it in your chest area it is clearly a heart chakra issue.
Sounds like you have a very active mind, and it would be good for you to simplify things and just listen to your body to let you know what is going on in your conscioiusness, according to our map.
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